5th anniversary tomorrow.
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5th anniversary tomorrow.
| Thu, 08-04-2005 - 2:29pm |
Hey everyone.
Tough times tomorrow, but I'm getting there. Tomorrow would have been my 5th wedding anniversary. It would have coincided with our relationship being 10 years.
My paperwork is still processing, waiting to go before the judge. I wish it was all over. Thankfully I haven't spoken to STBX in MONTHS so hopefully tomorrow will be just another day and he won't try to contact me.
But its tough. And I'm a little bit sad. I don't love STBX. I am not in love with him. I simply mourn the marriage, because I gave it all I had. And I mourn for the nice person he used to be that no longer exists.
Luckily the man I have started dating is very understanding (more so than I expected) and offered to let me have the day to myself, if I felt I needed it. But I don't. I am not wasting any more time or tears on him, or on what was. I did that last year, on our first "apart" anniversary, even though we had only been apart a matter of a few weeks. I am going to go out tomorrow night and continue on with my life and my friends as planned. I just come here to let it out. It sure is good to have you guys who understand! So many people think that just because I can be a bit sad think I am not over my marriage, or over STBX. They don't understand that if you were in something for a long time, it leaves marks, and sometimes it is healthier to acknowledge the marks than to deny. So I acknowledge and move on.
Thanks for listening.
Tough times tomorrow, but I'm getting there. Tomorrow would have been my 5th wedding anniversary. It would have coincided with our relationship being 10 years.
My paperwork is still processing, waiting to go before the judge. I wish it was all over. Thankfully I haven't spoken to STBX in MONTHS so hopefully tomorrow will be just another day and he won't try to contact me.
But its tough. And I'm a little bit sad. I don't love STBX. I am not in love with him. I simply mourn the marriage, because I gave it all I had. And I mourn for the nice person he used to be that no longer exists.
Luckily the man I have started dating is very understanding (more so than I expected) and offered to let me have the day to myself, if I felt I needed it. But I don't. I am not wasting any more time or tears on him, or on what was. I did that last year, on our first "apart" anniversary, even though we had only been apart a matter of a few weeks. I am going to go out tomorrow night and continue on with my life and my friends as planned. I just come here to let it out. It sure is good to have you guys who understand! So many people think that just because I can be a bit sad think I am not over my marriage, or over STBX. They don't understand that if you were in something for a long time, it leaves marks, and sometimes it is healthier to acknowledge the marks than to deny. So I acknowledge and move on.
Thanks for listening.

You've learned a lot along the way!.... Good for you!
Hope tomorrow goes well..... HUGS!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Then tomorrow will be a day of celebration...
Best,
Fiveyear
thanks for the support.