aaaaaaaaaaaagh-just venting

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2004
aaaaaaaaaaaagh-just venting
8
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 7:11pm
I just don't get them!!!! Is a year behind in child support, wants spousal support b/c of wage difference( not that much difference either) took what he wanted from the house and now wants $8000 cash for what he left. Buys nothing for 2 DD not even tampons. Won't sign separation agreement. And now goes and buys a brand new truck!!! DD thinks its great cause she gets to drive it!! And won't help pay for driver training!!! Where is the justice????
Sorry just having a moment!!! Thanks for the vent!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 8:12pm
Why isn't the divorce final by now? What does YOUR lawyer say about these issues?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2004
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 8:43pm

Divorce is not final because he won't respond to any correspondence!! He has always been a control freak and evidently continues to be. His lawyer has had a copy of the separation agreement since 07/05. He has to pay back child support, I have to pay spousal support (burns my A$$) he has to pay his portion extraordinary expenses. When I don't know!!! They (He & his lawyer) have not responded to any correspondence sent by my lawyer!!! I'm just sick and tired of the whole system (Canada) This is the way the entire process has gone since 02/04. He just ignores everything and just looks out for #1. But then why did I expect anything different now??

Just venting again!! This new truck really burns me!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 10:07pm
Since this divorce hasn't even happened yet... how is it that you think you'll have to pay him spousal support? Don't agree to anything just in order to get things over with. Just because he and his lawyer threaten, or ask for outrageous things... doesn't mean the court would side with them! Why can't your lawyer at least get you a court order for child support owed to you now... that is usually pretty cut and dried?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2004
Sat, 09-24-2005 - 8:52am
The divorce is not final but the issues supposedly settled. We had a negotiation meeting ( with both lawyers) in June to settle these outstanding issues ie support etc. Luckily for me spousal support is much less than what they asked for. A separation agreement has been wriiten dealing with these issues and I signed it in July. He won't sign it when it has been signed though, the divorce application will be processed and then in 60 days YAHOO!! I will be finally free. I don't know if our laws in Canada are different from yours we must be separated for 1 year to file for divorce. As far as the child support goes I am at a loss for why this is still outstanding. As I figure it he does not want to pay (surprise) and will with back support when everything is settled. I think this is why he won't sign anything and wanted money for possesions left in house because now he has all this back support to pay and was to busy living it up this past year and a half and spent on himself what should have provided for his children. Luckily I make a decent salary and even though we don't have any extras dd's and I have been ok financially.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Sat, 09-24-2005 - 10:30am
I think his lack of child support payments is just a clear sign of what is to be the "norm" for the future! Here in the states, child support can be turned over to the state support enforcement agency and (at no extra cost to the custodial parent) collected by the state from the paying spouse and sent on to the custodial parent. Paying spouses don't like it much... lol... because it's just one more area where they have lost power over the ex. And the state doesn't give a hoot about how much $$ the boy may need for his new truck, new girl friend, new single life... they collect 100% of the child support every month!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2004
Sat, 09-24-2005 - 12:23pm
Here in Canada we have to fight "deadbeat parents" for support. Sometimes court costs are higher than what you would get for support. Apparently laws are changing here so it will be easier than going to court for support. I just don't understand how a parent can just turn their back financially on their children and yet present themselves as concerned loving parents to everyone else. I think this is my biggest problem with the entire issue. He professes to everyone including daughters how much he misses and loves them and yet won't support them. And yes I agree that I will probably never see any support. But it still burns my a$$ that he gets to be fun dad with all the cool toys and do all the fun things when he won't help with everyday things!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Sat, 09-24-2005 - 12:42pm
well, I mentioned your posts to a canadian friend on another bb... here is her reply...
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Laws are different in Quebec but in the rest of Canada, basically if someone doesnt show up in court, for an appointed hearing or Court Date the Judge will just award the divorce or action in favour of the person who does show up. Which is why my exe didnt miss a single court date in ten years to plead that he wasnt ready -

However if the petitioner tells the Judge I am just here to get my divorce decree and other issues can be dealt with later - the decree will be granted. First a Decree Nisi and then a Decree Absolute.

CS can be difficult to collect anywhere of course, however in Canada if a person isnt paying Child Support they are unable to renew or get a Drivers License, insure a vehicle, get a fishing or hunting license, or have any dealings with the Court or Court Registry until they pay back CS. Revenue canada will take tax refunds as well - if the recipient files with The Family Maintenance Enforcement Agency -
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apparently Canada does have the same enforcement resources available to families dealing with dead beat dads. Ask your lawyer about it!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2004
Sat, 09-24-2005 - 7:19pm
Thank You. I will check with attorney this week. I don't understand why we haven't explored this before. Sometimes I really do wonder about atty's.