Aaargh! I hate days like this! ....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Aaargh! I hate days like this! ....
11
Sun, 01-15-2006 - 10:18am

I probably bit my nose off & now screwed myself, with STBX. I *hate* that he still has some semblence of control over me where visitation & my work schedule is concerned. & now i let him KNOW it.


He is SUCH a PIA about when he is taking her. Its like he waits till LAST minute, either the nite b4 or that day, to make a plan to take Ave overnite. In the meantime, i either need to have a sitter on call, or cancell one booked or scramble to find one if he isnt taking her. I would LIKE to just leave it, but if he takes her when i work, it saves me a LOT of $$$ each week - anywhere from $100-200 a WEEK, in sitter pay.


He has been pretty good the last few weeks, agreeing to take her a day or 2 ahead of my scheduled work days. So this week on Wed i e'd him asking if he planned to take her Sunday b/c i was working (technically i am supposed to offer it b/c of "1st right of refusal", he has the option to have her b4 a sitter & my atty told me that if he doesnt tell me within 24 hours of the time period, then he loses that right) & since it was a holiday on Monday, i asked if he could take her maybe 3'ish on Sunday, so i could sleep 3 hrs b4 work (working 7p-7a) & if he kept her till like 1pm on Monday, then i could sleep a few hours after work. (usually, his visits consist of my dropping her at 6:45pm on my way into work & picking her up at 7:30 am on my way home ... LOTS of quality time there! sleeping!) Anyway, he gave me NO answer. So, when i picked her up from his house Fri Am, i asked "Are you taking her Sunday?" his answer "Not sure, will call you on the weekend". I said "I need to know by tonite". Didnt hear a word. In the meantime, i am trying to find a sitter with no luck. So, last nite, Sat, i called him at 5pm. & i said "Did you plan on taking Ave tomorrow overnite?" His answer: "I will call you back".

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 7:53pm
Seriously? This guy is a real piece of work. OK, he's a depressed alcoholic, but these ridiculous games he tries to play with his child? Just crazy. You do a great job from protecting her from his lunacy. I think you are right to dig in your heels and INSIST that he adhere to the visitation/right of 1st refusal situation. Man, I hope this gets easier for you. I'm sorry you and your daughter have to go through this.

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