Able 2 Look at himself in the mirror

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Able 2 Look at himself in the mirror
1
Mon, 09-19-2005 - 2:25pm

............and be ok with himself. For him to be able to sleep at night and actually believe "I am a good father."

Was X's weekend this past one and my DD has been ill on and off from before Labor Day.

I am in no way saying that my DD got sick because of something he did but when my DD was picked up (at his normal time of being LATE!!!!) she had a runny nose but nothing to rush her to the hospital. But you have to understand my DD has Kidney Reflux and fevers might mean she has UTI and this is very bad for her kidneys where she already has kidney damage. Nothing that she would need a transplant but continous untreated UTI can lead to that or dialysis. A lot of times physicians if they don't know her case misdiagnose her UTI as an earache or ear infection.

So I pick her up from him Sunday afternoon and (as usually she walks out to the car herself) which is fine because I don't want to see his mug, but the whole time she is hacking and dry heeving. She gets in the car and her nose is totally congested AND she has the cough that she can't even tough without going into a red faced tears flowing out of the eye episode.

Was there anyway that he could of stopped her from getting sick - probably not - but he never ONCE called and said "hey she is coughing up a lung and what do you think..."

No I asked DD (5yr) in the car on the way home, did daddy give you medicine, she said no **** (GF) gave her some purple medicine but I still puked. I said you puked today? She said yes and last night while my daddy went to the bar and I was crying for him.

GREAT!!!! Automatically sick to my stomach. Does EX deserve a life - sure but to see and hear my DD hacking out I mean stay home with her or else call me and say she is really sick and is there anything I should give her or I gave her this what do you think?

NOTHING. DD said her daddy never came to get her and when he did he was smoking in the car. NICE!!! I am a social smoker when I drink but when I drink is NEVER when I am with my DD. So about 1/2 hr down the road (EX lives 1hr away from us) I call his cell phone and get his voicemail. Finally ask him to please call me back and let me know what kind of purple medicine he gave her and what time was the last dose and how many times did she puke and what about fever? So that was about 6:30 last night and WOW I finally got a phone call at 11 a.m. today!

Thank God it wasn't an emergency. I talked to him in a direct tone and no screaming. I told him what our DD said and he said yes she did puke but I didn't think it was anything. I said well she said you left her to go to the bar while she was puking and he said No I went to go pick her up and she only puked becasue she choked on a chip. (Ok so she must be choking on a chip allnight long because she puked on me 2 times last night) I said did you smoke around her and he said absolutely NOT and then 5 mins later he said I had the window down. I flat out told him he is a liar and I would believe my DD over him any day. I told him you only see her for so many hours a week (if he doesn't cancel) and the time you do have her you go out? Why can't you spend time with her. She told me it makes her sad and I said if you can sleep without a heavy heart and look in the mirror knowing that the time you had with your daughter you chose to go be with your GF and go to the bar especially when she is puking. Then he said well I can't come get her twice a week because I don't have enough money for gas to travel up there (he told the court that he would do anything for her and see her whenever he could he wanted 2/wk). I said then you tell our DD that you will only come see her one time a week. He is behind in child support and I said around the corner from my DD "you don't have any money when it comes to our DD but you have tons of money to go to the bar and have your smokes....that man in the mirror must not have a heart."

I tell you I cry for my DD. He told her he couldn't come and see her 2/wk and she was on the phone hacking and trying to say please come see me....

Hate is a strong word but it seems to fit right about now.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 11:20am

Sometimes.... we really do hate them.


I hope that your DD is feeling better.... and that EX gets some sense slapped into him.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~