? about kids...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2005
? about kids...
3
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 10:25pm

Well, after 2 years of things being up and down it looks like we are finally going to get a D. I had an appt. with an atty. last week but he had to cancel because of an emergency, I am still waiting for sec. to call me back with new appt.

When I first decided to do this I told my H and he refused to move out so I moved into the guest room. Well, tonight he tells me that he is going to find him a place this week. My kids do not know anything about any of this. I have worked very hard at keeping their home as "normal" as possible and now I am terrified to tell them.

How did you finally tell your children? By the way they are 13 and 7. I really worry about them. I have hung on for so long for them and now I almost feel devestated all over again because of the pain that they are going to have to feel. Any tips on how to make it easier for them would be greatly appreciated.

empty

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
In reply to: on_empty
Mon, 08-08-2005 - 8:23am

I don't have any tips for you, but I admire your courage. I know it isn't an easy thing to do and you've said that you've held on as long as you could, but you do deserve to be happy. 13 is a tough age, but reassure them that it isn't about them and that you both love them very much.

I'm in a similar situation except my kids are a lot younger (6 & 4 1/2)which is easier. I've hung on as long as I could as well and it breaks my heart to hurt innocent people my H included.

Good luck to you. All the best.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
In reply to: on_empty
Mon, 08-08-2005 - 8:41am

Hugs to you. I know that cannot be easy.


13 is a tough age, but I think it's important for you to talk to each child separately. Your youngest won't understand as much as the oldest would. Individual attention may be best.


I think for me, my son was 4 when my H left, I sat my son down and told him that we both loved him very much but daddy and mommy don't love each other like married people should. It is important to not push the blame on one or the other, no blaming yourself. Make it sound like a mutual decision. I think a lot of times parents say that "daddy did x,y,z and now he has to leave".... that's no

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: on_empty
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 1:09am

I agree with talking to the kids separately.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~