ADD DS out of control...
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| Wed, 08-09-2006 - 1:42pm |
... after coming home from a week at STBX's. GRRR! I'm SO mad! When I attempted to get DS to do chores today-- clean up after himself, clean up his room, etc., his attitude was "I don't want to! I want to go to dad's!" DS is *supposed* to have a list of everyday chores that he does at either house. All he does at STBX's is play video games and play Legos with his father. I think the ONLY chore he has to do there is take his dinner plate (paper plate) to the trash can.
He said he always gets blamed for stuff here. I asked him to be specific, and what came out was that he sees me having consequences for him not doing his chores is blaming. I explained to him that cleaning his room is HIS resposibility, and ME reminding him is not blaming. Also, if HE uses the water pitcher as a boot, and drags it downstairs and leaves it there, and if I ask him to bring it back to the kitchen where it belongs, THAT is not blaming-- HE dragged it out, HE needs to put it back.
I told him that it was pretty pathetic of him AND his brother that I constantly do things for them, and do not get thanked for it (laundry, meal prep), yet when they do things, they need to be thanked for everything. Their attitudes are atrocious, and with my health issues being what they are-- it is downright crappy that I have to struggle to get things done around the house as far as chores go, and they are out galavanting around in a hotrod when they should be doing their share too.
He does seem to be a bit more helpful now that I put my foot down... I told him that if his room wasn't cleaned up by 1.00 p.m., then the toys remaining on the floor would be thrown out. AND that HE was going to be the one to throw the in the trash. I just hate that his father does this to DS by not having him take responsibility, or see the consequences of his actions... him not giving him DS's meds justs allows the bad behavior to take root, and it's so much harder to try to regain lost ground than it is to MAINTAIN a consistent schedule for DS.

My son doesn't even have ADD, but there are sometimes adjustment problems right after he comes back from a stretch with his dad. I feel that my ex is much more indulgent than I, so DS feels I'm too strict if I limit video game or TV time, or if I insist there are certain chores he complete.
It's such a tough struggle. But I look at it this way...ex and I didn't see eye-to-eye on how to raise kids while we were married, so how could that possibly change now? It doesn't always make it easier to cope with the situation, though.
I hope that things have settled back down.
hugs!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~