Adjusting to being alone?
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|Sat, 03-01-2014 - 5:19pm|
I'm 43, I left my husband on Feb. 14.
I know this is the best thing for me, and things will seem easier as time goes by.
I have never lived all by myself before, I alternate between being excited about it and sad.
I feel like I am needing closure, and I know it's not necessary... but it helps me to talk about it sometimes as well.
A short marriage, only 5 years. Many issues, money and health. I found peace and happiness in the way of self actualization (self awareness, enlightenment) and he fell back into his safe hole of binge drinking, depression, anxiety, and doom.
We decided in October that we should split up. Well, he decided actually. He announced he was "done" and there was no talking about it. By January... when he had done "nothing" about it, I simply took steps into my own hands.
We don't even have a signed off separation agreement. He still hasn't taken his draft to a lawyer, has not filed for divorce, nothing.Not concerned legally, we dont' have kids together, no joint financials.
It's been two weeks since I moved out. There has been no contact, except he wanted me to do something for him about the alarm system on the house.
I didn't tell him "where" I moved to, and guess what? He hasn't asked either. I guess I am feeling hurt lately. A big part of me assumes he isn't alone... and that's why he doesn't seem to care. I don't know why I care what he thinks!! I don't want to be with him, it's over. We cannot be together. But I thought at the least he would have cared a bit... kept in touch somewhat? I was wrong.
Other than feeling like he never loved me at all (lol) I am doing just fine by myself. Brief moments of lonliness, but they pass. I keep myself busy. I keep myself positive. I try not to dwell on being tossed aside so easily. I try to trust that things will work out just as they are meant to.
Peace. Thanks for listening :)