Adult Child of Divorce
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Adult Child of Divorce
| Mon, 04-11-2005 - 2:31pm |
I am looking for someone to share, commiserate with about my parents impending divorce. They are divorcing after 37 years of marriage. I do not live near them so I am out of the day to day stuff. I am married with 1 ss and 2 dd's. I feel myself being pulled into their chaos. My mother and I have not always seen eye to eye so I am trying to stay neutral but it is very difficult.

Hugs to you....
I understand.
My parents are not divorced yet, but have been apart for 4 years. Wow, I didn't know it has already been that long! They were married for 27 years. He left her for his high school sweetheart. I got and still get pulled into their issues. My mother even had me collect alimony from him every week. My mom has cancer and has had it for almost 6 years. He left her when it got at it's worst.
I don't get along with my mother either. There are a lot of issues there, but given my own divorce my mother made my life her life. Everything was about her, even though I was talking about me. It made her sad and made it to the point that I didn't want to even say hi for fear she would say something about my father.
It's hard being in the middle. I am 28 years old. I have 2 boys, 6 and 4 months and 1 girl she is 17 months. ( I did the math and realized i was saying she was 19 months.... lol ) I have my own family and because of my parents separation and my mother constant need for supervision, I neglected my own family and ultimately lost my husband and myself.
If you would like to talk or if you ever need anything. Please email me at foster_angelena@yahoo.com
Hugs,
Angelena
I understand completely. I was going through my separation, I was pregnant and had a 4 year old at home and my mom had just come into an inheritance. She got 20K at first and was POOR before that. She has cancer and has not worked since she was diagnosed. Anyway, she sat there while I was ready to go out to a doc appt ( alone because my husband left ) and cried because she had no one to share that money with. Mind you, I had been an at home mom for a year before my husband left me. I wasn't working and was visibly pregnant when he left me alone to take care of the children with no income... she cried and made it all about her.
Not that I talk about my own problems a lot... I really don't.... but when I do need to talk, it's usually pretty serious. My divorce crushed me but I still played councelor to my mom. It literally tore me up inside. I had to cut off contact recently because of it. My mother cannot stand to see me happy and cannot stand to see that I moved on after my divorce and she is stuck in her own stooper. I told her the other day after a few months of her playing "I don't think I can talk to you" games that I couldn't talk to her. I blocked her from my email and my IM. I also blocked her from my site. She can always call me if she needs something, but she doesn't.
It's hard. My father just moved to Virginia ( we are in NY ) and my mother couldn't know about it. My father emailed me the new address and said..... don't tell your mother. He's afraid she will divorce him and force him to pay alimony because he isn't paying her. My father doesn't talk about my mom but my mom talks about my father all the time. She takes no responsibility in her divorce. He left her because she is self centered. He felt left out. My mom needs attention all the time and has a pretty bad depression problem. She even tried to commit suicide 3 times and faked it 2 other times... just for the attention.
It's like having another child. That's why I had to stop contact. I just couldn't do it. There comes a point where your relationship becomes mother