Advice on asking for divorce

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2006
Advice on asking for divorce
5
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 10:41am
I would greatly appreciate some experiences with a "hostile" husband as in NOT wanting to divorce. I want out, he doesn't. He won't leave the house (I understand the he doesn't have to) He won't negotiate a settlement, He won't give me any money. So what happens when the wife wants out and the H just won't talk about it. I don't want to leave because my name is on the house and on my salary alone (Part time) I can't afford to stay anywhere else.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 12:57pm

Talk to a lawyer. Every state is different. I just went to a seminar on legal aspects of divorce -- they said "file for divorce and force a court date." The spouse will either settle before then or go to court. Now in my state you have to be separated physically/financially for a year before you can file, unless there is "cause."

Again, it really depends on your state. A lawyer will tell you what to do.

M

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2006
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 2:08pm
yes a lawyer tells you what could happen but I was just wondering if anybody has dealt with a husband who refuses to negotiate and what really happens
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 3:17pm
What I understood from the class is that by getting a court date you *force* the other party to act.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 5:02pm

New,

I posted on this a while ago. I told my husband i wanted a d but he was drunk and didn't believe me. So i told him two more times, in WRITING. He was served with papers, we discussed it the day before our court date and he said he wasn't going to court, and i wasn't ""allowed"" to divorce him.

I went to court, and due to an error in serving the papers, the judge tossed it off the docket. I decided to wait until i move out before serving him again. According to my attorney, it is in the best interest of the other spouse to show up (hopefully with an attorney). Otherwise, if the spouse does not show up, the judge will more than likely grant the spouse asking for the divorce whatever is in the papers.

this is my understanding.

what
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2006
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 10:03am
It is very difficult to have a husband who refuses to cooperate, even when they know the marriage is over. I was separated for 18 months and my ex would not file himself, even though he wanted a divorce also. Is there any way you can move out? Maybe with a friend or a family member? You need some distance so you can make decisions about your future. Do you have any money saved? Or a separate credit card that you can use for a cash advance? Are you planning on working full time after the divorce?
I struggled financially on my own until I went to see a lawyer. Then I found that I could get a check each month from my stbx as I was a stay at home mom for most of my marriage. Suddenly the picture became rosier. I suggest talking to a lawyer to find out if you have the option for some alimony.
Good luck.