Advice on starting the process

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Advice on starting the process
1
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 4:08pm

Have decided to divorce my husband of 14 years. (Will spare the gory details.) We have two children (8 and 11), a house, plenty of assets. He has been the breadwinner most of our time together and came to the marriage with some assets and company stock. I have been a stay-at-home-mom and freelance writer. He wants us to agree to an amiable splitting of the assets and avoid attorneys. He says if I hire an attorney we will just throw away a ton of money on attorney fees and it will be "war." Can divorce be obtained with a mediator or is an attorney critical?

He wants to keep the house over the long-term. As far as I'm concerned, he can have it as long as I get half the value of the house and furnishings, as I would prefer to move. I will have primary custody. Should we both stay in the house during this process? Should I move out since I will be the one leaving eventually anyhow? Then the kids would have to move now, too, and I would rather not inform them about the divorce any sooner than necessary. Is it unheard-of for both of us to stay in the house until we figure out more details?

Where do I begin???!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 7:19pm
I am going in for my free consult. I was informed that in my state if I file legal separation with the children present I automatically get sole custody thru this. Also, he is required with this to pay child support even if we are living under the same roof. The other benefit of this is that it isn't actually a divorce but rather helping figure out who is responsible for what during the separation but leaves room for reconciliation. Hope that helps? If you need a friend to talk to thru this feel free, I know I could use some.