After almost nine months...
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| Thu, 04-20-2006 - 8:00am |
...this is really it. My lawyer e-mailed me mid-week, and said the pretrial hearing had been cancelled for this Friday the 21st. I almost flipped my lid! I thought this was going to push the date of the divorce out even further. Come to find out, just the hearing had been cancelled, since STBX and I had come to an agreement, we just have to go to court tomorrow morning at 9:30 AM and sign the final paperwork. Then done! Divorce! I really can not believe it is finally going to happen.
So last night, I started thinking about all that I gave up to get divorced....and realized how much I have gained. Yes, I ended up without red cent from the sale of the house (it all went to paying of his tax debt and credit card debt). Yes, he did end up with about 85% of the possessions in the house. And yes, I did agree to a reduced amount of child support and a 55/45 custody split. He went on to purchase a new home, and I will be renting for the foreseeable future. I often have to take on a lot of overtime at work.
OK, that's what I gave up. But I feel like I have gained SO much. When I wake up in the morning, I feel like I can breathe. I'm no longer bogged down by the crushing weight of a miserable marriage, filled with lonliness and neglect. I have control over how and when the bills will be paid. My relationship with my son is good, because I feel more energized and hopeful, which impacts the way I parent. For the first time in 12 years, I can see a bright future. Returning to college 1/2 or 3/4

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Wooohooo! Congratulations! I'm sure that limbo feels eternal at times.
Your post is actually quite helpful to me today...STBX and I are quibbling over how to divide our assets. I'm being STUCK with the house while he gets our retirement savings. I will have to sell the house and reinvest the profit from the sale. AND pay capital gains tax. Meanwhile he has enough liquid cash to buy his own new place right this minute. Some days it just feels like I have to chew off my own leg to get out of this trap!
So i'm grumpy about this hole I'm dug into but like you I DO have a lot to gain with my freedom.
Susie
Hugs, Brenda
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
*\o/*
CONGRATULATIONS!
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***
Congratulations!!!!!!!
It felt very uplifting to read your words. Freedom is indeed a wonderful thing!
I feel like it was worth the very high price I paid also.
Cupcake
Edited 4/20/2006 2:43 pm ET by momsacupcake
hugs~
Lexi
"When you want to give up and your heart's about to break, Remember that you're perfect God makes no mistakes...Welcome to wherever you are.
Hugs~ Lexi
"Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars" ~ Les Brown
Well, I just had to pop over and say once again how proud I am of you for how far you have come. I hope tomorrow brings you relief and peace. It is your official first step into your new life, and I know that is significant, even though you've already done so much growing in that direction. It makes me happy to see you so happy and hopeful. I agree that you have gained much more than you lost. I realize looking back I am able to say the same thing (even with the fact that I didn't want the divorce and fought it tooth and nail). It's a tough, but incredible journey for sure. I'm thrilled to see you thriving and helping others through it. I see a very bright future ahead.
Cheers to you, and again, welcome to the Divorcee Club! We are some cool chicks!!!
Much love, from your fellow DU30 alumni...
Michelle :)
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow... let us know how everything goes!
*hugs*
Julie
I am happy for you that you will have a closure tomorrow, with it sounds like, a lot of peace and self-understanding accompanying it!
What a kind person you have shown yourself to be in our community, and an encouragement to those of us still knee-deep. I hope I get to meet a few more strong, but happy women irl to become friends with this year! Best wishes to your little one and you in moving forward with life in a healthy and happy way!
Hugs...Annah
hugs!! whoooooeeeee!! dancing the happy dance with you!!
you are in such a great place right now ----- growing, and changing, and setting goals, and working hard -------- give yourself a big hug from me!!
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