After almost nine months...
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| Thu, 04-20-2006 - 8:00am |
...this is really it. My lawyer e-mailed me mid-week, and said the pretrial hearing had been cancelled for this Friday the 21st. I almost flipped my lid! I thought this was going to push the date of the divorce out even further. Come to find out, just the hearing had been cancelled, since STBX and I had come to an agreement, we just have to go to court tomorrow morning at 9:30 AM and sign the final paperwork. Then done! Divorce! I really can not believe it is finally going to happen.
So last night, I started thinking about all that I gave up to get divorced....and realized how much I have gained. Yes, I ended up without red cent from the sale of the house (it all went to paying of his tax debt and credit card debt). Yes, he did end up with about 85% of the possessions in the house. And yes, I did agree to a reduced amount of child support and a 55/45 custody split. He went on to purchase a new home, and I will be renting for the foreseeable future. I often have to take on a lot of overtime at work.
OK, that's what I gave up. But I feel like I have gained SO much. When I wake up in the morning, I feel like I can breathe. I'm no longer bogged down by the crushing weight of a miserable marriage, filled with lonliness and neglect. I have control over how and when the bills will be paid. My relationship with my son is good, because I feel more energized and hopeful, which impacts the way I parent. For the first time in 12 years, I can see a bright future. Returning to college 1/2 or 3/4

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Thank you, ladies. Everything went amazingly smoothly at court this morning. There were some last minute changed to the financial affidavits and some misspellings in the final agreement, but we are officially divorced. Ex barely spoke to me, which was good in the end. I was more nervous about getting up on the witness stand than anything! It was basically yes/no questions (is this your address, do you feel this is a fair agreement, etc). And that was it! Very anticlimactic.
My overwhelming feeling as soon as I walked out of the court house? RELIEF. I felt like I could breathe again.
What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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