I'm on the other side of your dilemma. I was the one that fell out of love. However I have experienced what you are going thru. The best thing for you to do is to keep busy. Start a project or get involved in a sport or group. The more you have your mind occupied the better you will feel. Don't do anything that puts you in that self-pity mode. If you feel yourself going there, immediatly direct your thoughts somewhere else. You have the power to make yourself happy just use it. I know this sounds relatively simple, but if you think about it, it is. Make up your mind that things happen for a reason and you just haven't discovered your reason yet. Think about it, are you more attracted to a upbeat happy person or a moody self involved person. Put out good vibrations and good things will gravitate your way. I wish you all the luck and love you can stand. Hope this helped some! Hang in there.
Hi. My heart goes out to you. It's very hard to be the one who is "left behind" in a divorce. The truth is, the person who leaves the marriage has usually "left" several weeks, months, or even years before they physically go out the door. That's why it seems like they get over the breakup so easily. Emotionally, the left the relationship long before they went out the door.
You are in the position of being the one who has to deal with his "announcement," depature, and the end of your marriage all at once. It's little wonder you feel like you can't get up in the morning! Since this has all happened very quickly for you give yourself a lot of time to heal. Crying is OK. What you'll find is some days that's all you do. The next day everything seems fine or maybe not. The trick is to give yourself enough time to heal. That means not putting a time limit on your grief and recovery. Take all the time you need.
I always encourage people to see a counselor after experiencing something as heartwrenching as a divorce. It doesn't mean you're crazy; it means you need a little help to see things. A counselor can also help you move forward and you'll know when you've had enough time to grieve.
I also encourage you to keep your routine. Going to work, church, grocery shopping, etc., are all good ways to stay on track with life. You'll feel a lot better in a few more months and better still when you've had time to grieve and heal.
I know how you feel. I am a couple of weeks out and I almost have to force myself not to think about things. If I do I get very sad and depressed. I often wonder if my ex is seeing someone else and it drives me crazy. I tell myself that it is over and he has every right to see someone else and it is over between us but sometimes it doesn't help. I have okay days and some not okay days. I struggle everyday hoping that it gets better. I am glad that you said it is a little better hopefully I will get there too.
I understand exactly where you're coming from. After 35 years of marriage my husband announced he no longer wanted to be married. He wanted to be alone. Said he still loved me and there was no one else nor is he interested in finding anyone else. After expressing my concern of "how can you say you love me and do this", and telling him that he was in some type of depression of which he refused to seek help, we filed and were officially divorced in June. I was still numb from the initial shock. I left the house because I couldn't afford to stay there and there's too much work to maintain the property. All I took with me was my clothes, my dog and my car.
I've used alot of sick days at work because there were days I just couldn't face anyone. I am tired of "pretending" everything is going ok, but you get sick of people asking! One thing I found sad, is that I find my self embarassed when I tell people that ask how my husband is, that we're divorced. I feel like such a looser. Everyone is so shocked and I simply tell them so was I.
Our one and only daughter is devasted and feels like her father has died. He is no longer the man I married nor her happy go-lucky Dad. People say he's going to wake up and realize what he's done and want to come back. I don't think I could. I could never go through this type of devastation again.
I have managed to get by and my only advice is you wake up and concentrate on your current day. One day at a time. Concentrate on you and your children if any. Don't think about what "might be" or what is he doing. I did that for awhile too and it make your feel horrible.
Being 55 and dumped is a hard thing to face, but I do have great friends and family of which is the only thing that keeps me going.
Glad to hear you're doing ok. I know ok is a good thing right now. I also can understand your loss of your father. Ironically my father too died of lung cancer and my mom from asthma/respiratory problems. I sat with both of my parents and watched them take their last breath. To this day it's something I'll never forget, but so grateful I was there. Even though my dad's been gone for 30 years, I still feel like Daddy's little girl. I miss them terribly and pass on their wisdon and strength to my daughter, who I actually this is taking this divorce harder than me if it's possible. This divorce has been like a death to both her and I. I tell people the only way I can describe it is as if someone came to my door and told me that my husband was killed in a car accident.
I did tell my husband that I knew I had changed over the years, but he has had absolutely no "trauma" in his life. I've lost of mother, father, brother and worked at a police task force where we had one cop go bad and kill 2 of his superviors. Needless to say I've had my share and the lost of parents take such a big piece of your heart.
Someday your heart will heal with happiness and begin in new chapter in your life. You will heal and use this experience to make you stronger. (I know...easy to say because that's what I've been told too!) :) Let me know how you're doing! I'll check back at the end of the week!
Grieving over the loss of a marriage where you did not "see it coming" is very much normal. It sounds like you have some so far in realizing that you must move on. When people disapoint us these are natural feelings. It is not all that different in the feelings you get from the death of a loved one.
You can not rush the recovery process. Crying is good even a little controlled anger is normal. The healing process has begun and with support from family and friends, your faith, and desire to carry on with your life, you will see the wound heal.
If you continue to wrestle with some of the emotions, please consider talking with a therapist or professional. God bless and I will pray for you tonight. Keep the faith!!
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I know this sounds relatively simple, but if you think about it, it is. Make up your mind that things happen for a reason and you just haven't discovered your reason yet. Think about it, are you more attracted to a upbeat happy person or a moody self involved person. Put out good vibrations and good things will gravitate your way.
I wish you all the luck and love you can stand. Hope this helped some! Hang in there.
Corplus,
Hi. My heart goes out to you. It's very hard to be the one who is "left behind" in a divorce. The truth is, the person who leaves the marriage has usually "left" several weeks, months, or even years before they physically go out the door. That's why it seems like they get over the breakup so easily. Emotionally, the left the relationship long before they went out the door.
You are in the position of being the one who has to deal with his "announcement," depature, and the end of your marriage all at once. It's little wonder you feel like you can't get up in the morning! Since this has all happened very quickly for you give yourself a lot of time to heal. Crying is OK. What you'll find is some days that's all you do. The next day everything seems fine or maybe not. The trick is to give yourself enough time to heal. That means not putting a time limit on your grief and recovery. Take all the time you need.
I always encourage people to see a counselor after experiencing something as heartwrenching as a divorce. It doesn't mean you're crazy; it means you need a little help to see things. A counselor can also help you move forward and you'll know when you've had enough time to grieve.
I also encourage you to keep your routine. Going to work, church, grocery shopping, etc., are all good ways to stay on track with life. You'll feel a lot better in a few more months and better still when you've had time to grieve and heal.
Good luck to you.
CL-Wisdomtooth2020
I understand exactly where you're coming from. After 35 years of marriage my husband announced he no longer wanted to be married. He wanted to be alone. Said he still loved me and there was no one else nor is he interested in finding anyone else. After expressing my concern of "how can you say you love me and do this", and telling him that he was in some type of depression of which he refused to seek help, we filed and were officially divorced in June. I was still numb from the initial shock. I left the house because I couldn't afford to stay there and there's too much work to maintain the property. All I took with me was my clothes, my dog and my car.
I've used alot of sick days at work because there were days I just couldn't face anyone. I am tired of "pretending" everything is going ok, but you get sick of people asking!
One thing I found sad, is that I find my self embarassed when I tell people that ask how my husband is, that we're divorced. I feel like such a looser. Everyone is so shocked and I simply tell them so was I.
Our one and only daughter is devasted and feels like her father has died. He is no longer the man I married nor her happy go-lucky Dad. People say he's going to wake up and realize what he's done and want to come back. I don't think I could. I could never go through this type of devastation again.
I have managed to get by and my only advice is you wake up and concentrate on your current day. One day at a time. Concentrate on you and your children if any. Don't think about what "might be" or what is he doing. I did that for awhile too and it make your feel horrible.
Being 55 and dumped is a hard thing to face, but I do have great friends and family of which is the only thing that keeps me going.
Hang in there...you will get stonger and be ok.
Now, you tell me the same thing, ok?
NOW....you tell me the same thing, ok?
Glad to hear you're doing ok. I know ok is a good thing right now. I also can understand your loss of your father. Ironically my father too died of lung cancer and my mom from asthma/respiratory problems. I sat with both of my parents and watched them take their last breath. To this day it's something I'll never forget, but so grateful I was there. Even though my dad's been gone for 30 years, I still feel like Daddy's little girl. I miss them terribly and pass on their wisdon and strength to my daughter, who I actually this is taking this divorce harder than me if it's possible. This divorce has been like a death to both her and I. I tell people the only way I can describe it is as if someone came to my door and told me that my husband was killed in a car accident.
I did tell my husband that I knew I had changed over the years, but he has had absolutely no "trauma" in his life. I've lost of mother, father, brother and worked at a police task force where we had one cop go bad and kill 2 of his superviors. Needless to say I've had my share and the lost of parents take such a big piece of your heart.
Someday your heart will heal with happiness and begin in new chapter in your life.
You will heal and use this experience to make you stronger. (I know...easy to say because that's what I've been told too!) :) Let me know how you're doing! I'll check back at the end of the week!
Grieving over the loss of a marriage where you did not "see it coming" is very much normal. It sounds like you have some so far in realizing that you must move on. When people disapoint us these are natural feelings. It is not all that different in the feelings you get from the death of a loved one.
You can not rush the recovery process. Crying is good even a little controlled anger is normal. The healing process has begun and with support from family and friends, your faith, and desire to carry on with your life, you will see the wound heal.
If you continue to wrestle with some of the emotions, please consider talking with a therapist or professional. God bless and I will pray for you tonight. Keep the faith!!
Pages