aftermath of an affair
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aftermath of an affair
| Fri, 12-30-2005 - 1:09pm |
I have a question about how to handle it when your husband is leaving you for another women.He will be living with her.I know it's normal for me to have a lot of anger and yes hatred toward them both,but i need to know,do I have to let my daughters participate in their world?I will be getting sole physical custody,and he can visit whenever,but i think he just wants us out of his way.apparently my needing him to be a grown up and faithful was holding him back(i swear thats what he said),I am filing as quickly as possible and have family support and attorney advice.I don't want to be this angry bitter person,but the idea of this woman playing mommy to my girls is too much.am i being selfish?

I understand how you feel. My ex was selfish and insensitive towards the end as well. Perhaps you could speak to him about him getting on with things and moving out. My ex moved in with his skag right away, so at least I didn't have to deal with him coming and going as he pleased. Your stbx is being very insensitive and needs to take your feelings into account. I personally feel if he is the one with a plan B and another woman on the side, then he needs to leave not you and the kids. After my ex left, I was stuck with the grueling task of selling our home, paying all the bills, and cleaning up after him. He walked away with his personal belongings and his car and a little money and wanted nothing else, so I accomodated him. I felt that was fair that I end up with most everything else including the kids, since I was the one who was the stable, responsible parent and he was the one who cheated and lied. Now that he is living with her, he is realizing that the grass isn't greener and has told me several times that he still loves me and regrets everyday how badly he treated me and the kids, and if he could "go back and change things" that he would have come with me to counseling and tried to work on things rather than taking the easy way out and jumping into a relationship that he really wasn't ready for. Rebound Rebound!! I could have told him that! Anyway, my point is is that they don't always know what they are doing or think things through very well. It's your husband's loss in the end. Try to be strong and make the transition into cutting the ties, which include him moving out. You may feel a self of relief and a sense of permanence. This may help you to continue through the divorce process and leave the marriage with a fresh start and a fair settlement. Good luck. Email me anytime for support. rlowenstein@bis.midco.net.
Take care.
Rhonda