I am sorry for the way things are going for you. I have not been in a situation like you are living in, but I do know a thing or two about being unhappy.
First off- You can not change how other people act.
Your wife is probably upset because she has had to move home, the pressures of supporting children and being dependent on family. I know too that getting welfare papers done is very difficult, they make the processes as complicated as possible.
My own situation is very bad, due to money as well and could lead to a seperation. Women when they do not feel financially supported do move away from relationships. Your wife being pregnant has got to be terrified. Even if you are NOT at fault, your wife is suffering under the pressure. Having to move home as an adult does make a person die a little bit inside and if she suffered any abuse or rest from family she does not feel protected anymore, and very vulnerable. This can build up bad feelings. I am facing this myself, in not feeling protected and realizing that being disabled, I may now be at the mercy of the state. She is at the mercy of her family.
I am glad you are working but I wonder myself if the divorce rate is going to skyrocket because of the bad economy. Is your own family able to help you, so you do not have to be homeless? If they have thrown you out into the street, basically, you do need to go take care of yourself, find a shelter, move in with friends back home or family. Though I know that may make reconciliation that much harder.
One other option you have is call up some churches to help you. I dont know if you are a Christian, but I know if I am ever homeless or in really bad need, I would be calling up some. Some Assembly of God people helped me with food pantry some months ago. I have heard through the social work grapevine, the social services are basically being overwhelmed and I have a friend in Ohio, so I know this is true.
My old church used to help people get a room etc. This is a good if they can help you settle somewhere closer to wife. You could rent a room for 200-300 dollars. IF you are employed you should be able to afford to rent a room even if you have to take a few weeks in a shelter to save the money. Try and get close to wife and children so you can see them. And go see them, even if your in-laws treat you horribly. They need their father.
It does sound like to me for whatever reason they are pushing you out. They are probably telling their daughter, "you can do better, and other such things." You sound like a working man who has simply hit hard times, and I think this is going to be growing like gang-busters, your hourly wage is what my husband used to make only a little over when he was working, and I didnt have kids, and know that we were always short, I am disabled, and this is when the debt began and things got worse because prices have gone up high high high. I realized there was a huge difference between 1999 and 2004. Wages have been suppressed for working class people, and even white color people. The number of people in your boat is HUGE.
I bet you just wanted someone to help you out for a time so you all could catch up. That is understandable, many families have had to do that. In a way that is the most responsible thing to do, but I bet you never thought it would split your family up, I feel bad for you there.
Would they take you back in? Can you all talk this out? What are they so mad at you about? Maybe you just need to ask them and lay it out on the table? Do they blame you for not making a decent enough living? Explain to them what you have done. I think there needs to be some communication here. Maybe if they air out their grievances, there can be some healing. Maybe try a letter?? to both wife and parents?
Don't they understand that the economy is really bad and some people are talking that we may even be going into a Depression and a recession is already here {on cover of Newsweek or Time magazine}??
This is why it is kind of unsettling they are blaming you so badly. The sad thing is your in-laws are probably frustrated, why cant he make a living? Maybe they even have money problems of their own, and afraid. But pushing themselves inbetween you and your wife isnt good this way, and your kids since they have had to deal with a move and more need you. You sound like you are trying to do everyuthing you can, I know third shift work is not easy and there are plenty of people living on even less.
Hello Bill-
I am sorry for the way things are going for you. I have not been in a situation like you are living in, but I do know a thing or two about being unhappy.
First off- You can not change how other people act.
Well it seems like do to economic and relationship pressures, you are running scared!
Your wife is probably upset because she has had to move home, the pressures of supporting children and being dependent on family. I know too that getting welfare papers done is very difficult, they make the processes as complicated as possible.
My own situation is very bad, due to money as well and could lead to a seperation. Women when they do not feel financially supported do move away from relationships. Your wife being pregnant has got to be terrified. Even if you are NOT at fault, your wife is suffering under the pressure. Having to move home as an adult does make a person die a little bit inside and if she suffered any abuse or rest from family she does not feel protected anymore, and very vulnerable. This can build up bad feelings. I am facing this myself, in not feeling protected and realizing that being disabled, I may now be at the mercy of the state. She is at the mercy of her family.
I am glad you are working but I wonder myself if the divorce rate is going to skyrocket because of the bad economy. Is your own family able to help you, so you do not have to be homeless? If they have thrown you out into the street, basically, you do need to go take care of yourself, find a shelter, move in with friends back home or family. Though I know that may make reconciliation that much harder.
Bill,
One other option you have is call up some churches to help you. I dont know if you are a Christian, but I know if I am ever homeless or in really bad need, I would be calling up some. Some Assembly of God people helped me with food pantry some months ago. I have heard through the social work grapevine, the social services are basically being overwhelmed and I have a friend in Ohio, so I know this is true.
My old church used to help people get a room etc. This is a good if they can help you settle somewhere closer to wife. You could rent a room for 200-300 dollars. IF you are employed you should be able to afford to rent a room even if you have to take a few weeks in a shelter to save the money. Try and get close to wife and children so you can see them. And go see them, even if your in-laws treat you horribly. They need their father.
It does sound like to me for whatever reason they are pushing you out. They are probably telling their daughter, "you can do better, and other such things." You sound like a working man who has simply hit hard times, and I think this is going to be growing like gang-busters, your hourly wage is what my husband used to make only a little over when he was working, and I didnt have kids, and know that we were always short, I am disabled, and this is when the debt began and things got worse because prices have gone up high high high. I realized there was a huge difference between 1999 and 2004. Wages have been suppressed for working class people, and even white color people. The number of people in your boat is HUGE.
I bet you just wanted someone to help you out for a time so you all could catch up. That is understandable, many families have had to do that. In a way that is the most responsible thing to do, but I bet you never thought it would split your family up, I feel bad for you there.
Would they take you back in? Can you all talk this out? What are they so mad at you about? Maybe you just need to ask them and lay it out on the table? Do they blame you for not making a decent enough living? Explain to them what you have done. I think there needs to be some communication here. Maybe if they air out their grievances, there can be some healing. Maybe try a letter?? to both wife and parents?
Don't they understand that the economy is really bad and some people are talking that we may even be going into a Depression and a recession is already here {on cover of Newsweek or Time magazine}??
This is why it is kind of unsettling they are blaming you so badly. The sad thing is your in-laws are probably frustrated, why cant he make a living? Maybe they even have money problems of their own, and afraid. But pushing themselves inbetween you and your wife isnt good this way, and your kids since they have had to deal with a move and more need you.
You sound like you are trying to do everyuthing you can, I know third shift work is not easy and there are plenty of people living on even less.
Praying for you.
You see Bill, you would rather sleep in the car than to suck it up with the inlaws.