Ahhhh, Im trying to be calm
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| Thu, 04-20-2006 - 3:22pm |
Okay my sister called me a little while ago and she said get ready for this one. I said what happened and she said my son said "janel hit daddy" then he said "daddy was crying" then a little later again said "janel was crying" so she said what happened, janel was upset. He just said again "janel cry, dont cry janel".
Im trying, TRYING, not to be alarmed. Im BITING MY TONGUE so hard not to say anything. The arguing is bad enough but I for darn sure dont want them hitting and shoving each other in front of him. I was trying to be positive about allowing the extra time but I have to say Im really starting to feel some regret with what he's been talking about.
No one is prompting him to talk about this either. It must have been a big deal for him to remember this stuff and keep talking about it.
What would you do in a situation like this?
Help...............

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I'd be bringing it up to him as a concern. Not an accusatory thing like "WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING IN FRONT OF OUR SON?" But rather "I'm concerned, because our son seems to think you two are fighting & making each other cry, and that's not something a little kid needs to see". I mean, even if it's not as bad as you are thinking and they are really just doing normal adult disagreeing- something is bothering your son bad enough that he is CONSTANTLY talking about it now. Obviously there's a problem somewhere! If my daughter said something like that I would definately call. First of all, I don't want her thinking that's how relationships are. Her daddy & I have already demonstrated to her what a failed relationship is like, I don't want her also having an image of relationships being nothing but yelling & arguing! She'll never ever get married- though that could be a good thing, LOL! You don't want your son thinking that's what couples do: fight & divorce or fight & break up. Good luck- keep us posted :)
Lainie
Oh god this is so hard. I also dont want ex to be angry with our son for telling me. I have so many different emotions right now on this. My gut is saying to say something. My mom says to wait, because then I wont hear if anything else is going on. I just dont see how I can. This is really important.
I agree totally that I dont want him thinking this is what relationships are like. I know he's very young and doesnt understand alot but this is when they are most impressionable and soak in everything. Even when you think they arent paying attention to you they are.
What the freak is wrong with my ex. Doesnt he know the we did enough in front of him already. Now with her to. Then my son saying daddy was crying. Jesus what the hell is wrong with him like his life would be over if he lost her or something. Who is she. This makes me sick.
If I said anything at all.... I would just mention "DS mentioned that you were crying Wednesday.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I am really starting to hate men. Oh I could see my ex crying over his girlfriend. Never once cried over me, he was completely void of all emotion with me.
What kind of an idiot is he? I mean, HE is your sons male role model. Is that the example he wants to set for him- that you should fight with women? Granted it may be her doing the fighting & instigating, but he should be a MAN and walk away. Or talk about it calmly. You do not want your son thinking that's how you treat women. Just like I know I am my daughter's main female influence (I guess his damn girlfriend is the next influence- great) I wouldn't want her to see me flipping out on some guy, I don't want her thinking that is how a REAL woman behaves.
Oh, did I ever tell you that my ex's girlfriend use to be my friend? Yeah, we were friends...key word: WERE. Long story- just thought I'd add that in, she's a great role model: GO OUT WITH YOUR FRIEND'S EX HUSBANDS!
Lainie
Your gut is getting carried away girl..... you've got DS right now... this is not an emergency.... so if you mention anything to him at all, wait until you see him again or talk to him on the phone.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Okay, I see your point. Would YOU say something or wait to see if more happens?
If I do choose to say something while I love your suggestionh the only thing with that is then that puts me out there for him to think that Im all concerned about HIM, that Im still pining over him. He doesnt give a crap about me. Then he'll be on this ego trip all over again that Im so concerned about him.
What a mess.
I will definitely use your explanation for my son.
God Im sorry to hear that. That is very hard to swallow. Saturday is quickly approaching for me. Dont know what Im gonna do yet.
Thanks for you input.
If there's a risk that he'll think you're pining over him... and you can't make your "tone" definitively "just a peppy little thing I thought I mention that I don't really give much of a crap about--just thought I'd let ya know" thing, then don't say anything to him and put the emphasis on DS.
And.... on some sick level, all of this might have been a game to see if you'd bite.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
You guys are my go to people first. LOL. Its a tremendous support group here and Im so grateful.
Im still taking deep breaths lol. Seems like I will wait and see what transpires this weekend. If ds comes back with more than I will have to say something but I will very careful how I word it to ex.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
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