All of a sudden I am angry! - vent alert
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| Tue, 04-10-2007 - 10:32pm |
Just a quick reminder of my situation. It has been 2 and a half months now since stbx announced that he was leaving me after 10 years for someone else. Something I never saw coming. We've got two small kids.
The legal situation has been insane (due to the fact that we moved half way across the country for his job just a few months ago and I came back to the state we've lived in all our lives). In the mean time, he was in the house we bought with all our clothes and the kids toys and gave me (and them) nothing.
The man I married was generous, kind and loving. The man he has become is manipulative, a liar and greedy. Now that I am no longer living in fear of being forced back to that state, I am so angry with him. Everytime I talk to him (to facilitate him talking to the kids or make a schedule for him to see them), I get so mad and when I have to see him, I can't wait until the encounter is over.
We've agreed to leave everything up to the lawyers in the interest of keeping things as amicable as possible and not to discuss it with each other. But I am so angry over how he is handling this. As if leaving me wasn't bad enough (with no warning that he was unhappy and no willingness to even discuss counselling), the way he is going about this - denying us our property and money to gain a pyschological advantage is disgusting.
So, how do I deal with this anger? Most of the time I am fine - I focus on my kids and building a new life for myself. But when I am forced to deal with him or see him, I get so angry I actually see red (I always thought that was an expression).

Well, see a counselor, for sure. I like the leaving it to the lawyers approach. That would be my inclination with what I have been through and paid for for mediation.
Are there divorce support groups in your area (DivorceCare is run through churches; they have a website)? I have found that very helpful.
As for the personality change -- seems common and still appalls(sp?) me! Mine, too, although not evil, just manic, I think.
So, indiv. counseling, a support group and keep focusing on you and the kids; glad you got yourself out of there. Oh, and can't you have your lawyer put in a request to have your personal possessions and the kids' returned to you? That seems very reasonable.
M