Am I allowed to do this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2004
Am I allowed to do this?
6
Sat, 10-07-2006 - 3:29pm
Ok, I have asked my STBX to take his clothes out our of house several times now. he never does. He left the house 3 months ago. So, my lawyer said to pack up his stuff and leave it out on the front porch for him to come get. I did pack some of his things, but Im not too sure he will come get them. He will just let the stuff stay outside and I dont want it at my house. Can I bring it to his apartment and leave it there?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2006
Sat, 10-07-2006 - 5:17pm
Hi, K new today this board. Do not blame you for not wanting them in your home--just reminders. Me, I am wondering about pictures--is it time to take them down and where do I put them? I hope I am not being insensitive by telling you what an acquaintance of mine did. Her then STBX did not come to get his things either, so here’s what she did. She called and told him that if he did not pick up his things by such and such date that she was going to be rid of them in a garage sale. He never showed up, so yep, she had a garage sale.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 10-08-2006 - 5:32am

call your lawyer back, and find out just how far you can take this. don't make it easy for him (like driving his stuff over to his house), and don't do it half-way (like pack up some of his stuff).

here is what i would do (again, i am stressing that you must get your lawyer's approval first!!!)

send him a letter by registered mail (or whatever means has been decided as being the 'offical' means of correspondence), or have your lawyer send him a letter that will state: dear John, I have asked you several times to pick up your stuff (or whatever) and since you have thus far not complied, therefore I am assuming that you do not want these things, and as of (insert a reasonable date) i will dispose of these things in the way i see fit. If in the meantime, you want to pick up your things, please set up a date in advnace and do so "

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Sun, 10-08-2006 - 3:21pm
Pack it up and put it in the garage or someplace inside. Until the divorce is final, he can come and get things. Once it is final, you can call the Salvation Army. He is not allowed to take anything out of the house after.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 4:39am
I agree with the last post. For right now, play it cool and put everything someplace that you don't have to look at it. It is not your job to play "mover" for him. The divorce document will address the issue...mine says that if he wants anything from the house after the divorce is final he must first notify me in writing. I didn't ask for that clause...I think it's pretty standard.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2006
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 6:31am

Have you asked him if he wants his stuff? Maybe he doesn't want anything to remind him. My ex left EVERYTHING for me to get rid of (which was expensive because I had to hire a guy with a truck to cart away all his junk). But at least I knew he didn't want anything. Stuff that wasn't junky I donated and took a large tax write-off.

Laura

Avatar for eatatmoms
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-09-2006 - 8:38pm

My ex (who was an stbx at the time) moved out of state and left all his stuff behind, including collections of stuff that was somewhat valuable. I told him I'd keep it until X date and he came back to town took ONE BOX and told me to do whatever I wanted to with the rest. I ended up selling most of the stuff on Ebay and I did pretty well with it too!

Melanie