Am I being rude if...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2006
Am I being rude if...
4
Sun, 08-27-2006 - 2:37am
...if I tell him that I don't want him to call me...at least not right now. He called today to see how I did on a test I had for a job I applied for (the test isn't until next week though)...and some small talk. I don't think I can handle talking to him right now. Every time I hear his voice, I get a sense of hope...but it's false hope. I shouldn't think that way. I can't think that way. My heart skips a beat but when the call is done, I'm left feeling empty. I still love him. But he walked out. He doesn't want to be married...but he still wants to be friends. I was thinking of texting him a message saying "don't call but if you need to contact me, text me". To me, it just sounds so rude. Anyone have any suggestions on what to do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sun, 08-27-2006 - 7:56am
It is not rude at all. Actually, it's perfectly reasonable. All you need to do is say ot text the following: "please only contact me about matters regarding our divorce or children." It's simple, and to the point.


Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-27-2006 - 10:10am

I totally agree here--not rude at all, and often a part of the divorce process... when xh and I were going through that, I told we could talk about 1) the separation agreement, 2) our son, 3) our dogs, 4) the one joint financial item we had... and that was it... it helped a great deal in providing that emotional separation, if that makes sense...

Good Luck!

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2006
Sun, 08-27-2006 - 10:37am

In my case the choice of narrowing our communication channels came from my STBX; in our case it was limited to email. It was her original stated intention to remain (her words) "lifetime friends" so it did catch me by surprise. But without doubt I think it has been better for both of us, certainly during the divorce process.

I do wonder how things will change once we have a final decree, but at that point a good deal of the pressure may be lifted. But I would do what you feel you need to, and not concern yourself with how it appears.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2006
Sun, 08-27-2006 - 11:29am

I have to agree with the rest of the posts and say that it is not rude at all to tell you SBTX that you would only like to be contacted for relevant items. I went through this about 2 weeks ago and I told my STBX that it was better if we didn't talk unless it was about my mail or bills that were still arriving at his house. I also told him that it wouldn't be beneficial for us to make small talk because it could lead to us fighting over little things and create more bitterness.

Good Luck!!!