Am I being selfish????

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2008
Am I being selfish????
15
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 11:01am

Hi.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2007
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 11:11am
I don't think your being selfish I think you have the right to be
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 12:46pm

Weesa,


Hi. Glad you found us here at SD&S.


First and foremost, you're never "too old" to go back to school or go to college the first time! Colleges and universities have very diverse student populations these days from recent h.s. graduates to great-grandparents fulfilling their dream of a college education. So don't listen to your husband. If you want to go to college, start getting information on schools that interest you!


In fact, make an inquiry at your local community college. Many have programs for older students, returning adult students, and displaced homemakers who are entering college and/or the workforce for the first time or after a long absence.

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sun, 03-23-2008 - 11:15am

Oooo..that comment that he made about being to "old" to go back to school really steams me! I'm 34 years old and am graduating from college on May 31. Because you'll be a single mom and displaced homemaker, you should be eligible for a good deal of financial aid. Contact a few schools as soon as possible...some of the application deadlines are coming up.


Also, you might want to consider a distance learning option. I finished my degree at Charter Oak State College, which is a well-regarded, regionally-accredited school (it's important that the college you choose has regional accreditation). A distance learning program would allow you to work if you need to AND take classes at your convenience. Because of my work schedule and family commitments, I couldn't have finished my degree any other way.


It sounds like your H is trying to frighten you into staying. Trust me, you CAN make it on your own. I didn't think I could, but I did.

Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-23-2008 - 7:24pm

I second the motion on the other's comments that you're "too old to go back to college".

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-1998
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 2:25am

Oh my goodness Weesa!!! *I* could have written your post!!!! The parallels are amazing.
I told him I wanted out 2 days before our 21st Wedding Anniversary, I moved out on the 8th March. I would have loved to have stayed in our house but he would not go. Of course our older kids (who are not home much) chose to stay there :o( That has been the hardest thing to accept. Our youngest dd 12 has decided to spend alternate weeks with each of us.
I too have described our relationship as housemates! No intamacy at all for years. I used to say things but gave up a long time ago, & as you said realised then I wasn't interested anyway!! I saw a cousellor by myself before leaving. I wanted someone to say my concerns were valid, & I was not being "silly". She asked me 2 questions which really brought it home- "How would you feel if you were still in the relationship like it is 30 years from now?" & "How would you feel if you were to die in 10 years?". My answers & horrified expression told me it was time to try separating.
And I must add since leaving I feel so much better!!!! Ok I'm worried about money etc, but the stress I have been feeling for years because our relationship was not what I wanted has gone.

Ps Hello everyone I'm new here. Looks like the perfect board for me to hang around on! :o)Tracy-->-->-->

CL of
~ Aussie & Kiwi Mums ~

Email me!




Edited 3/24/2008 5:54 am ET by tbear_au

 



Tracy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2008
Mon, 03-31-2008 - 2:11pm

Thank you all for your kind words.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 03-31-2008 - 2:36pm

As far as being too old to go to college, my mom got her Assoc. degree when she was 65.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2008
Mon, 03-31-2008 - 5:51pm

For years I have been asking if it was something about me that doesn't interested him re: sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-1998
Tue, 04-01-2008 - 8:03am
Well at least you got an answer W, I never did!
I found counselling (I only went once, that was enough for me) to be a great help. I just wanted someone to look at my marriage & feeling from the outside.
I moved out just over 3 weeks ago now & I LOVE my new life. I'm feeling so much happier, & people are telling me I look happy & great. For years I think I felt ugly & unwanted.
Dh is fine when I see him, but is still playing the "poor me" card .

 



Tracy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Tue, 04-01-2008 - 8:45am

Hi weesa,


This sounds like a marriage that should have ended eight years ago.

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