am i being stupid?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2004
am i being stupid?
2
Sun, 09-16-2007 - 8:35pm

i got married last year, today. todays my first anniversary and i cant spend it with my husband because we're separated. i lived in a joint family and my mother in law drove us to this. my husband has always had a temper but i could handle it if the problem was between him and me. his mother is a very disturbed person. she is very protective as he's the only child. i can understand that...but she could never understand he's got his own family going on now. he has a wife and she needs to really let go. its sick all the things that she would actually do to break us up. she locked up the kitchen wouldnt let me eat or even drink water stole my clothes and talked abt me to everybody. i never said anything to her but fought with my husband and asked him to move out otherwise his mom was going to drive us crazy. the last time i spoke to him was because she had locked up the kitchen and i didnt get anything to eat for 4 days. i finally got hold of my husband n let it all out and then he beat me up tellin me he would never move out or do anything

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
In reply to: p82a
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 11:06am

Hi P82a,


It sounds like your husband is not able to separate from his mother. He is also guilty of domestic violence by hitting you. That sends a clear signal that you are not important to him nor is your marriage. Mama will always come first and that won't change. He also feels so threatened by your request to leave his mother's home that he hit you. That's a pretty violent reaction to a reasonable request.


Please

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
In reply to: p82a
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 12:53pm

Where do you live? You mentioned your "society," which leads me to believe you are not from a Western culture.


From a Western culture's perspective, the problem in your marriage is not your husband's mother. It is your husband. He has not mature enough to leave his mother (physically and emotionally) and partner with his wife.

Cat 

Mom to 5: DS-17, DD-16, DD-11, DD-9, DS-7