Am I over reacting?
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| Fri, 09-01-2006 - 12:13pm |
I've taken the first step by contacting a lawyer, but now I'm wondering if I'm over reacting? You see, the straw that broke the camel's back per se, was I found IRS paperwork from 2005 indicating my husband won a large chunck of change at a casino. He won this money about the same time we were having a hard time paying our bills. I had to swallow my pride and go to my parents for help. Having to go to my parents really upset me because HE has a savings account from high school with over $2000 in it! And he won't touch it.
Now, DH NEVER told me about this extra money. I just happened to find the paper work folded and stuffed between some papers in a binder. Never told me and we never claimed it on our taxes (my dad prepared our taxes). This extra cash explains how he was able to purchase some big ticket items in the last year with money he told me he had "been saving".
At the time he won this money, I was in counseling for our marriage because I was thinking of leaving so I can see why he never told me. But if he was as interested as he said he was in saving our marriage (granted he never went to counseling) wouldn't he have told me about the money and used it responsibly? Part of the reason I was so unhappy was because of our finances! And here was a solution to at least some of it!
I guess the reason I'm doubting myself is that it's been ok at home. It's been liveable, we've been getting along. But I look back at the time period of when he won this cash and think of all the things it could have been used for and the fact he still hasn't told me about it! And all the things he said I/we couldn't do because we didn't have the "money". I can account for some of the dough, but about half of it I can't figure out where he has it. It's not in any of our savings.
Am I right to be upset? The funny thing is I haven't gotten mad or cried over this. When I found this information I was like "ok guess that's a pretty good sign".

Yes, you are "right" to be upset.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Thank you Karen for your honest advice. I had been thinking about leaving off and on for the last year. And your right, I am no longer emotionally invested in this relationship and I deserve better! I just needed some outside validation to my feelings. I see the lawyer next week!
But please tell me, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Honey, I know ALL ABOUT validation!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
That's a huge betrayal. You had to borrow money from your parents and he didn't tell you that he had money stashed away? He's very cruel. I can't believe that he actually wanted to work on your marriage or he could have used that money as a great gesture of trying to make things better for your family. I would be worried about what other financial things he's hiding. Protect yourself.
Hugs.