Am I Selfish?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Am I Selfish?
11
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 6:15pm
This is my first time on this board. I am scared and sad and don't know what to do. I am very unhappy in my marriage and have been since day one for the most part. I don't love him like a husband, he can be a real jerk (that's putting it lightly), smokes pot, drinks too much, and I am not attracted to him which really angers him. I would love to leave and if I didn't have kids it would be as easy as that. But I do. A 1-yo and a 3-yo and I am terrified. Not about being alone. I am very comfortable with that and know that I will be happier alone then where I am, not nervous about the finanical implications- I can figure that out, but absolutely petrified that I am going to ruin my children's lives. Should I ignore my unhappiness for the next 30 plus years? I don't know what to do. My husband says it's selfish of me to want to leave, and that I will never be happy. I need some thoughts here.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2005
Sat, 06-09-2007 - 8:29pm
Well speaking from the experience of 30+ I would not recommend it. As for the children they will respect you and support you as they grow up because they will know that the sacrifice you made was to give them the best you could give them and no one can ask for more. I wish I had been more selfish. I feel at this point I have lived many lives and I feel old and drained. That is what I have allowed him to do to me. I made myself a victim...

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