Am I in shock?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2011
Am I in shock?
10
Sun, 03-04-2012 - 3:01pm
My H and I are 90% sure we are getting a divorce. He is living elsewhere, i dont know where because i didnt ask. He is still paying bills here, his direct deposit is still going to joint account. The few people i have told, check on me constantly and cant believe i am fine. I dont know, maybe i am in shock but i really am fine. Yes its sad that after 19 years .married and 22 together we are getting a divorce but i am fine. Why wont they believe me?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sun, 03-04-2012 - 4:57pm
Maybe it's gotten to the point where you just don't care enough about him or the marriage to be upset over a divorce. Marriages usually get to that point when divorce comes up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2011
Sun, 03-04-2012 - 5:01pm
That is so true, i have wanted this for sometime now, he didnt.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2011
Sun, 03-04-2012 - 5:07pm

"...Yes its sad that after 19 years .married and 22 together we are getting a divorce but i am fine. Why wont they believe me..."

May be they will believe you if you tell them you have been cheating on your H for a long time .

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2011
Sun, 03-04-2012 - 5:19pm
Until you have walked in my shoes please dont judge, thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 03-04-2012 - 7:44pm

The truth seems to come out if you post on multiple boards and then we all see the truth. (just saying)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2011
Sun, 03-04-2012 - 7:46pm
I didnt deny it, if you look at my first post on this board, i admitted it. It was there for everyone to see.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2005
Tue, 03-06-2012 - 10:51am

My friends and family are just finding out about my situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Tue, 03-06-2012 - 11:02am

My family and friends couldn't beleive how happy I was about divorce too. But they weren't aware of his cheating or abuse either. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors. My ex took the divorce harder than I did and he was the one running around.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2011
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 10:38am

I also think sooner or later, you're affected.

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 1:53pm
It's not a shock to you but to those who know you. We all have perceptions about others and we don't know the whole story. So, when you do something totally unexpected it knocks people for a loop. You may find yourself comforting them!
You may want to just reassure people you are fine and say something like, I know this is a surprise to you, but we have come to a decision to end our marriage by mutual agreement. No more.
Good luck.