Anger Issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2005
Anger Issues
5
Fri, 06-09-2006 - 8:31pm

How do you get over the anger problems? I am very angry with myself as well as him.. The anger with him I can deal with but I am SO angry with myself. I dont know how to make it go away. I am angry that I allowed him to treat me the way he did for so long. I cant very well yell at myself.. I dont know how to get over feeling like a fool and being so dissappointed in myself as well as the anger I feel. He treated me the way he did because I let him. But why did I act like a doormat for all that for time? I deserve better and I know this. Why did I settle. He is the only person in the world that could treat me that way and I would tolerate it. WHY? What to do now?

I know I dont contribute much and I am sorry but I am just not able to try to give advice or anything, sorry:(

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2003
In reply to: antnonie
Sat, 06-10-2006 - 2:29am

I know what you mean. I wasted too much time on someone who treated me like a dog and bullied me, physically abused me, and I let him because I didn't have any self esteem. I figured if I "did everything right" then it would stop. But nothing was ever good enough, everything was always my fault. But it's not our fault. We got unlucky, but good ones are out there. We just have to work on ourselves and realizing that we do deserve to be happy and treated like human beings, not just floor mats and punching bags. The best revenge is a great life.

good luck
laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: antnonie
Sat, 06-10-2006 - 7:00am
the anger will not just 'go away'. of course, time will heal, somewhat. but i think that therapy for yourself may be a good place for you to start. i know that it helped me ALOT. i was also angry and felt guilty, and the therapist helped me to focus on and work thru the important issues.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: antnonie
Sat, 06-10-2006 - 11:50am

I choose to say.... I was a doormat for so long because I gave him and our marriage many, many opportunities to get back on track before I bailed.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
In reply to: antnonie
Sat, 06-10-2006 - 7:31pm
Why did you allow it? Because you're human and imperfect...just like the rest of us. It took me a long time to get over the shame and guilt of allowing myself to be mistreated, too. But you know what I found? Being kind and forgiving to yourself does a lot good, whereas beating yourself up just leaves you wounded. The more compassionate and understanding you are toward yourself, the more your anger will subside.




Follow me to my partner in the siggy exchange....


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
In reply to: antnonie
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 8:18pm

Hi there, I still have anger myself. First, go to counceling please. That is what I was recommended by people here, and I am so glad that I listen to them... I have been in counceling for 2 years, and it helped me a lot. I will continue the counseling even after the divorce is over.

It is good that at least you recognized that you made a mistake. With a counceling and positive support, you can change the anger into "drive" to make your life a much better one. The past is gone and we cannot do anything about it, so let's just say we are glad that we recognized it NOW!

I made a huge mistake to be with my husband for this long, and I felt the same way as you did. And I have made a LOT of changes in my life. I know I can do better. Even though I am not where I want to be right now, it feels good that I am making baby steps to improve my life. You can do it too! I am more concerned about the people who are feeling empty. You still have energy left in you, so burn it up to do some good for you! Good luck!!!