Angry over separation agreement proposal
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| Thu, 04-20-2006 - 4:57pm |
Well, I thought we would be able to do this easily without getting nasty, but, oh well!! He finally sent me his separation proposal (Mine had everything he said he wanted in it, until he saw it in writing!). He lives 4 hr away-he created the distance- and he wants 3 wkends/month and 6 wks in the summer with the boys (ages 6 and 7). He says I owe him $5000 dollars for uneven disbursement of property. All of our furniture combined would not equal $5000. I don't know where that's coming from. He wants half my retirement ( he has none). Also, he wants child support lowered due to a "shared custody" agreement, meaning he would have them 90 or more days/year.
I was floored! I supported, loved, and forgave this man too many times during our marriage of 10 yrs for his unfaithfulness. My return on this "pathological loyalty" that I gave- He left me. Now I feel like I got the shaft during my marriage and may well get the shaft during my divorce.
I am hoping my attorney is a good one. I want my kids to see their dad and I will foster that relationship, but with 3 weekends/month how will they participate in any sports activities they like? They all have Saturday games. When will I have days off with them? 6 weeks without my kids would kill me.
Whooo! I just needed to vent. Anyone out there been through similar circumstances where spouse left them, moved far away? How did visitation work?
Laura

Vent away! First of all. The agreement is not written in stone yet. Discuss the points you don't agree with when you contact your attorney. It is a very valid argument that unless your STBX is willing to provide transportation to and from their games, it may become an issue.
But I will tell you, prepare yourself for the possibility of your STBX getting the children for the length of time he is asking. I know six weeks is a long time without your children, and I know it seems absolutely horrible now, but if it did happen, you would be OK. And so would your boys.
My ex didn't move far away...he actually lives within a mile of me, which causes other issues!
Try not to get too upset. Just counter his offer with one that works better for you. And hopefully, you'll be able to meet in the middle. Good luck.
What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
4 hours away?
Let him have the 3 weekends a month. Sit tight and see what shakes out...