angry,confused, and very muched hurt

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2007
angry,confused, and very muched hurt
2
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 10:20am

my name is margaret and i'm 26 years old. my husband(27)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2007
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 3:59pm
I am sorry you are experiencing this pain. Please know that you are not alone. There are MANY others like you and me over on the Betrayed Spouses Support board. You'll find great advice there and here. Best wishes to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2007
Sat, 12-08-2007 - 7:45am

Margaret-


I see so many similarities between your story and mine, except that we do not have children. My husband was also spending an inappropriate amount of time on the phone with another woman. When I confronted him, I got the "just friends" line and was told I was being paranoid. Fast forward a year later, and we are in the process of divorcing. It's not just her, but he also stopped showing any interest in me emotionally or physically. I am aware that I made mistakes, but I asked him several months ago if he wanted to leave and he said no. So now I am left wondering why he didn't just go to her and save us all a lot of grief.


I am not much help with advice at this point, but I suggest you see the lawyer first. You have children to protect as well as yourself, and it does not sound as though he has their best interests at heart if he is comfortable having her around them. Find out if you can stipluate in an agreement that she cannot be there when they are there - not sure if this is possible, but it's worth a try. Make sure you get any evidence you need against him, because that is leverage. I understand that this is hard - on the one hand, you love him and wanted to try to work things out, but on the other you need to move on and a part of you may feel as though you are being too tough on him. You are not. Let me repeat this - you are not. He is not thinking of you right now, so you must take care of yourself. Go after alimony and child support. You mentioned you have a job, and that's great, but tradtionally women fare worse economically in these situations, simply because we earn less most of the time.


Best of luck with everything. Keep us posted. Remember - you are not the only one going through this.