Another Day Closer
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| Wed, 05-30-2007 - 8:57pm |
Today my H and I met once again to discuss our seperation. It feels like it has been an eternity since this all began but really it has been less then a month. Back when my husband said he thought we should seperate for awhile I would have done anything to stop that from happening. Now over the past few weeks and the hell he has put me, my family, his family and all of our friends through I think I am finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
My only brother passed away this weekend from a cancer he has been battling for the past 2 1/2 years and right now I only want to focus on him. Of course it is hard when I know my marriage is falling apart a little more every day. I told my H that I did not want to talk about us again until after the service which is on Monday but envitably we talked today. I actually felt OK with the rejection and him telling me that he thought he would never get the same feeling for me that he used to have. I have come to accept that it is not about me but him and now that I am giving him what he wants he is calling his sister crying. Now he can see how I have felt the past month.
I know that everyday is a new day and tomorrow I will be sad again if not for him but for my brother. I just want the tears to stop and to start moving forward. I told my H I would contact a divorce attorney on Tuesday to start the process because I can not live the way we have been. It is just too hard seeing him come and go as he pleases.
Thanks for letting me vent this in writing.

Please accept my sympathies on the passing of your brother... that is so hard anytime, let alone when you're also trying to survive a separation...
Keeping you in my thoughts...
*hugs*
Julie