another newbie here needing MAJOR help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
another newbie here needing MAJOR help!
2
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 10:03am

Let me start off by saying that I am a 26 yr old, married, mother of a 5 month old daughter. I have been with my husband for 2 years, married for a year on Oct 21....Things between us have always been up & down. He has since brought out the worst in me, and I have packed up my bags, for both my daughter and I, and moved back home with my parents (he wouldn't agree to give me the house, it's MY house he says..).

We have these wonderful stretches of 'no annoyances' and then BOOM, he is angry and mad for a few days or weeks...I have begged and pleaded with him to seek counseling, but he says it's all me. I know that being overseas while in the army has given him some HUGE anger issues, and for a living he works in a prison, where he 'controls' all the convicts....He needs to realize he can't take that home to me...He tells me that I am psycho...That I am a fat-ugly-bitch with nasty stretch marks....(um, yeah, I just birth to HIS daughter, and YES, did put on a healthy amount of weight, which in turn, gave me stretch marks)

I had to call the cops on sunday, mind you, it was our 1 yr anniversary....He called me the 'c' word and pushed me....I just couldn't take it anymore!

After he returned home yesterday with an attitude still, mentioned it was HIS house and he wasn't leaving, EVER....he then called me fat for the last time (I am 5'8 and weigh 165lbs...fat? I think not!) While I was getting ready to leave....He stole my debit card (threw my purse in the dumpster, and removed my access to all money) leaving me with NOTHING. He wasn't even going to give me the car that we use to travel with our daughter.

He has not agreed to counseling, and I don't think he ever will.

I don't even know why I am still interested in being with him, after all the controlling, abusive behavior. I guess I just have my hopes up that he will seek counseling and turn out ok in the end.

In the meantime, my question to all of you is, doesn't he legally have to provide for me and his daughter? (I am a stay at home mom, which was agreed upon before baby was born) How do I go about getting some support with having to go to courts, or do I just have to suck it up and get a judge's assistance?

Thanks for all your help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2007
Wed, 10-24-2007 - 12:37am
Hi, is your husband still in the army? I'd like to know the question to this before I post a reply.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
Wed, 10-24-2007 - 8:00am
hello. no, he is not in the army anymore. He has been out for about 2 years now.