Any Advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2005
Any Advice?
1
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 8:31am
Hey guys.I am new to this message board.but I have been on others.I am 28 yrs old and have two children with my husband.He is 26 and we have been together for 10 years, married for 8.He was 16 I was 18 when we met.And we fell so in love.I never thought we would have ANY problems.I thought we would be together forever.But as of now we are likely going to divorce and he has moved out.Our problems started a while ago.We both changed.I become more I guess bored in our relationship.I didnt have time for him or desire either.While he became more clingy and needy and wanting things to be like they were when we met, you know full of passion and desire.Like teenagers.The diffrent needs we have split us up and I feel sad to let him go, but also happy to be alone.Has any of you ever experienced any feelings like this before?Does it mean it is over?I have become interested in other guys and he has in other girls alos, but we do love each other, its just not the same anymore and we fight over it all the time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2004
In reply to: annamarc2005
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 12:38pm

Hi there. You both were married very young so it isn't surprising that you have grown apart. Since I have been divorced and look back over my life I think it should be a law that you can't get married until you're 30!!! I just really don't think you know exactly who you are until around that time.

Anyway, my ex and I weren't young when we got married but we did come from very different backgrounds. At the time, I was stupid and thought that our love would overcome any struggles we had because of our differences. In a short period of time those differences became extremely problematic and one day I realized that I didn't love him anymore and didn't want to make it work any longer. He felt the same way.

I think we are some of the lucky ones when it comes to divorce. Many women feel like they have been left or abandoned if their spouse is the one who wants the divorce and they don't. In our case, although divorce is never really "wanted" or easy - I don't think we go through the same feelings of misery.

I know some people truely don't think kids can be better off when their parents are divorced, but I really beleive my son is better off. He would have grown up in a miserable, unhappy home. Now he gets two very happy parents and he has a very good relationship with both of us.