any tips for living in the same house while splitting?
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|Sun, 02-12-2012 - 9:45pm|
I am in so much emotional pain today. I've been married for 7 years (no kids, 40s), most of which have been difficult. My DH is a workaholic with very little emotion and very little interest in being part of a couple. He put on a great show while we were dating. Once we got married, much changed. Real life with a spouse doesn't seem to be his thing. He has told me that he doesn't like someone relying on him.
We've been to a few counselors over a three year period - sex stopped 2 years ago(he does not bring that up as a problem, I do) In the past few years my DH has said he wanted to work things out, as did I. There hasn't been much "work" on his part. Things have stayed pretty much the same. I have been working on my issues, obviously it takes two. He has even said he sees a change - I thought that was a good thing.
Recently he made a fairly large life decision without me. This has been a problem for the last few years. He basically acts single. My thoughts and feelings are not considered in most if not all of what he does. I'd never hold him back, I don't want to make his decisions for him, I just want to be involved in OUR life. These decisions affect our finances and many other aspects of our life and I think they should be talked about. He basically will not talk to me.
That's all background I guess. Now, I have suggested a separation. He barely batted an eye and said he agreed. At first he mentioned keeping the house so things would go more quickly. Now, he has decided he wants to move. Our house needs some work before we could ever put it on the market and the market is terrible here like everywhere. I have been trying to get motivated to do some of the fixes but its really difficult. It just makes me sad.
He has made no attempt to start any of the repairs. He is acting like nothing is happening. We still sleep in the same bed!