Anyone divorced but still friends?
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| Sun, 10-29-2006 - 3:25pm |
I read a similar post then decided to jump on to the board. Brief history, hubby and I have been married for 10yrs. High school sweethearts etc. In 2001 he had an affair, in 2005 I found out (not a pretty scene). I lost my trust in him, and sometimes it feels now like marriage is a job an obligation. No smiling and having fun no adventure. Anyway, I love him with all my heart, he's my daughters father and is a wonderful one at that. But like the other post said, here I am 31 and unsure of the world out there. Part of me, the part that cannot seem to forgive him wants to stay out late, date , fool around, find me, become that person you said you wanted to be on the 3rd grade paper "What I want to be when I grow up."
But like I said I love him, but I don't know if I'm in love with him. Its strange sometimes I feel like we could you quit and start new lives and not hate each other. But other times I feel like it would be an evil all out war. I don't want my daughter to get hurt, but is my unhappiness hurting her more?
I want us to have equal parts in her life without being at each other over something stupid, like who we are dating things like that. Can friendship with a spouse happen after there no longer a spouse? Do we separate and see if absense make the heart grow fonder? HELP words of wisdom and experience welcome.
Broken98

I am friends with my ex, not cuddly friend but we can hang out together and few fights we have is due to him being stupid and he knows that he has done wrong but doesn't tell me but his best friend, who tell me.
I am 30 and has been divorced for 3 years, I do like my ex husband as friend but not as life partner.
There was child involved but we talk to him and told him why and that we still would love him even if I wasn't there anymore. I had been the kids stepmum since he was toddler but for all involved peace of mind, I left, even if I wasn't
Broken,
Hi. My first question for you is this: Have the two of you sought professional marriage counseling since your discovery of his affair? If not, please go! You've got a lot to fight for and I encourage you to do it! Divorce is A LOT of hard work. Staying together is A LOT of hard work, especially after an affair, but IT'S WORTH IT!
So, put aside your personal feelings and go for your daugther. What better reason to work on yourselves as individuals and your marriage. I also warn you: counseling isn't "just" for your husband, it's for you, too. Men stray for different reasons than women, FIND OUT WHY HE STRAYED! Find out how you can contribute to rebuilding that trust. Find out how you can go foward together instead of separately. It's worth it!
CL-Wisdomtooth2020