I'm getting there slowly but surely-all the backsliding slows the progress but it does feel that there are more good days than bad. I'll take snow anyday over mowing the grass today in 95 degree heat to improve the curb appeal to sell this house. Tommorrow is going to be worse heat while I use the weed wacker. What kind of man would sit at his mom's house-he is not helping her with her yard because
I've been married 21 years and just separated from my husband this last week. I left our apt. and moved in with some friends of mine until I can figure out what to do and can find affordable housing. I am also in College full time so that is going to help in keeping my mind occupied.
I just couldn't take it any more, my hubby use to be a kind, caring individual. willing to do anything for his family, he had conquered so many obsticals in the last 20 years, the loss of his parents, overcomming alcoholism, however the last year he changed. he was always picking fights with me, always pissed at me when I wouldn't have supper on the table when he came home from work (most of the time I'd get home 10-15 minutes before him), I honestly think he felt threatened by my going to College. slowly things just got worst, he turned to bullying me, closed out our joint checking acct and opened up another acct for him only, refusing to allow me to even have any money for gas or bus fare, let alone for food. I finally couldn't take it any more and left. thank god for good friends who don't take sides. they welcomed me with open arms and we've had long talks about things they have noticed about him as well.
Our 2 daughters are not suprised that I finally left him, our oldest who is 20 said it was about time.
Not sure if we'll actually divorce, neither of us really believe in divorce. perhaps we'll just live apart until he can come to his senses and can figure out what he has done is wrong. perhaps we'll be able to work it out I don't know. but all I know right now is that I need to take care of ME!
I know what you mean daisymaesmom. I pay someone to cut the grass, since I have hip problems which would make it difficult for me to do it. He still owns this house too, but he dosen't come and do weeding or trimming hedges or anything else.
Unfortunately I think they've become self absorbed before leaving-maybe always were but we weren't looking for it. I don't know after so much reflection and hearing the poor me comments from him I guess I'm seeing for the first time that I made it easy for him to go out and play-have his hobbies and interests while I handled everything. My STBX was so conditionned to thinking everything was done for him he packed 2 coolers from our ref. and freezer when he moved out-he was moving to his mom's house and food was not going to be an issue there-he simply assumed it was HIS food-bought for him as one of my "duties". I would never even consider doing such a thing and he can't see why that bothers me.
I didn't get the yard finished today-it'll be there tomorrow and if it becomes a problem I'll have the real estate broker tell him it needs work. There really is a limit that I can't do any more.
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I'm getting there slowly but surely-all the backsliding slows the progress but it does feel that there are more good days than bad. I'll take snow anyday over mowing the grass today in 95 degree heat to improve the curb appeal to sell this house. Tommorrow is going to be worse heat while I use the weed wacker. What kind of man would sit at his mom's house-he is not helping her with her yard because
I've been married 21 years and just separated from my husband this last week.
I left our apt. and moved in with some friends of mine until I can figure out what to do and can find affordable housing.
I am also in College full time so that is going to help in keeping my mind occupied.
I just couldn't take it any more, my hubby use to be a kind, caring individual. willing to do anything for his family, he had conquered so many obsticals in the last 20 years, the loss of his parents, overcomming alcoholism, however the last year he changed. he was always picking fights with me, always pissed at me when I wouldn't have supper on the table when he came home from work (most of the time I'd get home 10-15 minutes before him), I honestly think he felt threatened by my going to College.
slowly things just got worst, he turned to bullying me, closed out our joint checking acct and opened up another acct for him only, refusing to allow me to even have any money for gas or bus fare, let alone for food. I finally couldn't take it any more and left.
thank god for good friends who don't take sides. they welcomed me with open arms and we've had long talks about things they have noticed about him as well.
Our 2 daughters are not suprised that I finally left him, our oldest who is 20 said it was about time.
Not sure if we'll actually divorce, neither of us really believe in divorce. perhaps we'll just live apart until he can come to his senses and can figure out what he has done is wrong. perhaps we'll be able to work it out I don't know. but all I know right now is that I need to take care of ME!
I know what you mean daisymaesmom. I pay someone to cut the grass, since I have hip problems which would make it difficult for me to do it. He still owns this house too, but he dosen't come and do weeding or trimming hedges or anything else.
Because he left, I am stuck with all of this.
Unfortunately I think they've become self absorbed before leaving-maybe always were but we weren't looking for it. I don't know after so much reflection and hearing the poor me comments from him I guess I'm seeing for the first time that I made it easy for him to go out and play-have his hobbies and interests while I handled everything. My STBX was so conditionned to thinking everything was done for him he packed 2 coolers from our ref. and freezer when he moved out-he was moving to his mom's house and food was not going to be an issue there-he simply assumed it was HIS food-bought for him as one of my "duties". I would never even consider doing such a thing and he can't see why that bothers me.
I didn't get the yard finished today-it'll be there tomorrow and if it becomes a problem I'll have the real estate broker tell him it needs work. There really is a limit that I can't do any more.
Pages