Is anyone elses husband like this

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Is anyone elses husband like this
1
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 9:37am

Well I think I’ve finally found a website that explains my husband’s personality, whom I am separated from. I posted what I found because this explains it better than I ever could. Through therapy, and research it has been explained to me the type of person he is, since I’ve never met anyone like this. The problem I’m still having is trying to find someone who has also experienced this, and looking for some sharing of information. His brother, sister, and father are like this, and his mother minimizes, or ignores any family problems. It’s so difficult to explain to family and friends what your marriage was like, because many of them have never experienced this. Although my therapist says there are people out there like this, I have yet to hear from one who has had similar experiences. If anyone out there can relate, could you please share? I am looking for peace and closure of this relationship. Thanks (explanation of my husband’s personality below)

What signs point to a need for greater emotional awareness?

Consider the emotional response of the following individuals in love relationships:
 Bernie is a kind, steady and dependable man whose emotional flatness inspired the nickname “Mr. Spock.” He can warm to his work, but not the love relationship with his wife. His mood remains at a plateau — nothing is too exciting, nothing is worth arguing about. When Bernie’s wife inevitably filed for divorce, it came as a surprise

Normally nonfacial expressions. Voice tone normally remains the same, can’t tell whether happy, or sad

Speaks very little if at all in social situations, is not aware how to reciprocate interest in person conversation

What are some underlying symptoms of an unsatisfying love relationship? (How I felt for 24yrs. of marriage)

Loneliness – not feeling emotionally known, understood and valued by your partner

Inability to experience the joy of shared fun, joy and pleasure

Not feeling cared for in times of trouble – support and compassion are absent in times of need

Many people look to control their emotions, rather than experience them. Painful and confusing emotional communication in infancy and early childhood oftentimes leads us to substitute less offensive, more intellectual secondary emotions in love relationships

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 10:19am

I think the summary at the end of that article explains why a lot of people act the way they do. My STBX's behaviours manifest in a different way, but for the same reasons. He is more reactionary than your Ex seems tohave been.

I hope you find the type of love and affection that you deserve. All the best.

Cindy