Anyone with Joint Custody?
Find a Conversation
Anyone with Joint Custody?
| Sat, 03-26-2005 - 1:58pm |
My stbx and I have joint custody of our 2yr ds and 3yr dd. Right now we divide the week in half, Monday night til Friday noon with me, Friday noon til Monday night with him. This is working well because I currently work weekends, Sat-Mon.
However, my dd is going to start pre-K in August and I would like to switch to day-shift.
What are some different schedules you guys with joint custody have? I think the week to week schedule is pretty popular but I just don't think I could go a whole week without my babies. 3 1/2 days is hard enough. I would like to alternate weekends but am not sure how to split the week. Help!
Mame

In my case, the judge issued every other Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday with my Ex. Since we don't live in the same county I don't have to let her spend the night during the week. (My baby is 18 months old) However, my ex and I decided that we would just do it our own way for now. He usually gets her one night on the weekend, and watches her some while I go to school and work. If you have a good enough relationship with your stbx, just try and work things out on your own.
Kait
My dd was 3 when we separated. We do every other week, but also agreed a week was too long to go for her and for us. She goes back and forth on Fridays, so whoever has her Friday morning drops her bag off at daycare, and the other parent picks her up. We like this because Friday night we can unpack and get her settled and enjoy the whole weekend, Monday morning isn't so hectic because things are ready to go, laundry done, etc., and she isn't constantly living out of a suitcase since she has 7 days at each home.
Then one night on the 'off' week the 'off' parent picks her up and takes her out to dinner (or whatever the plan is for the evening) and returns her around 7:30 (so that parent gets about 2 hours with her). This way we can catch up with her in the middle of the week and only have to go 3-4 days not seeing her (and she doesn't go a whole week not seeing one of her parents). DD does great with this schedule. My ex usually picks dd up on Monday's on my weeks and they go out to dinner. I usually pick her up on Tuesdays and take her to gymnastics because I like to take her to gymnastics. We are flexible with which night is "dinner night" on those times that one of us has to work late or has another conflict (so I don't *always* do Tuesdays and he doesn't *always* do Mondays).
It is sometimes hard to be away from dd so much, but I know that she needs that time with her dad and she needs that time with him. Plus it gives me the opportunity to have as much of an adult life as my ex has (dating, exercising, reading, volunteering). I get a lot of errand running and cleaning done when she's with her dad so when she's with me I can focus more on her and being a mom.
Both of my kids are school-aged..... they spend every other weekend with their dad, and he visits them one night each week for a few hours.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
It must depend on the child. My dd is 4 and whoever is picking her up that day is burned into her mind. Even if it changes at the last minute and I'm dropping her off and say oh yeah, your daddy is picking you up tonight, she will not forget. Twice we've had something happen during the day and had to have the other parent pick her up (not the one she was expecting) and she totally freaks out when that happens. She has in her mind who she's going to see walking down that hall and if it's not that parent she is very disappointed.
I always imagined dd will be in an after school program and one of us will still be picking her up. But I don't have older children. What happens as they get older? What age do they start going home alone? I guess if dd was 12 and there was no after school program and more than likely her dad will not live on a bus route (not in the same township), she will have to go home with a friend or something like that? I'm trying to think how my situation might change when she's older but it's kind of hard when I have no frame of reference.
A lot of that will just depend on DD.... it's hard to say what maturity level kids will be at... or even what the "tone" of the neighborhood is where you'll be living then.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~