are you scared?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2007
are you scared?
4
Mon, 05-28-2007 - 11:59pm
for the first time in 15 years I will be at home alone--just me and the kiddo. I felt safe with a man in the house--and now the cheater is gone-- so is my security. Do you get scared at night? I am not sleeping and I hear every bump and creak.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 7:59am

It is hard and scary at first. I didn't sleep well for weeks - both because of the shock and because I was nervous being the only grownup in the house. But I am sleeping better now most nights. Like everything else in life you get used to it.

If you live in a house you might want to consider getting an alarm. It might make you feel more secure. If you live in an apartment, you could get a door alarm or someting.

It will get better I promise.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 12:04pm
It gets better. You will hear those but not because you are afraid for YOU, but because you are afraid for your child. Things will settle down. I have divorced once before and got my own place with my son. I am not remarried and separated once again and I have the house we own together. It is much bigger and I have 2 kids this time to worry about. But I just leave a light on in the living room so it appears someone is up. I also have lights along my sidewalk and my porch light on. There is a motion sensor light in the back too. Plus I have dogs. I feel safe. Turn on a few lights or have a timer. You can buy them at Wal-Mart. They plug in an outlet and into your lamp. Have it come on just around time for you to go to bed. Look up ways to gfeel safe at home alone online. I am sure there are many resources available to help you stop obsessing about it. ANd you will sleep better.

<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wtCMCc4/">
<img border="0" src="http://tickers.Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 1:30pm
Before he left we never locked the doors. Now at night I am locked up in here like fort knox. I also don't leave my keys in the car anymore. I miss the security.
Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2007
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 11:57pm

Totally scared, panick stricken a lot of times if I think about it too hard. My son has a seizure disorder and ADHD, my daughter has asthma. I'm not afraid of breaking and entry so much, I'm afraid of being the only adult to deal w/ a crisis that may arise. I used to be a family with two grown ups that would throw themselves in front of a speeding train to protect the babies. Now I'm alone and my kids are with their functioning alchololic Dad every other weekend and 45 days over the summer, and I pray that he won't get drunk, pass out and not hear them cry in the night if something is wrong.

I have friends who say I should have stayed with him to ensure the kids were safe?? I actually thought when I left that the last DWI conviction (two years prior) would be enough for supervised visitation and such to see where that went. I know he loves those kids more than he loves himself....I hope he's not drinking when he has them (he can abstain for days and weeks at a time) but there's nothing I can do if he is ~ and that gives me horrible separation anxiety.

I miss my family unit, no matter how dysfunctional and toxic it was ~ it was my security, my home, for 9 years of dating and 11 years of marriage and children. A year and a half after the split, and I'm still scared~ and I still miss the sick SOB :(