Back to Square One.........
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Back to Square One.........
| Sat, 08-27-2005 - 7:42pm |
Just when I think that things are going fine and I am getting on with my life, it seems like I go straight back to square one....I miss him, I can not make myself stop loving him.....Today has been so terrible, I can not stop crying and I just keep on thinking what if he is right and everything is me......I just hurt so much and keep on thinking of all the things that I sacrificed, worked out, forgave and put up with during our marriage....I even took him back after the affair with my last pregnancy....and he is the one that just abandoned me.......I would have walked thru fire for him and he just threw our life away like it was nothing......replaced me before he even moved out......How do you do that?.........I just wish I could wake up from this nightmare and have my life back to normal......but I can not ......It is all gone....my life is just gone.....The only thing that I have are my boys and when I am done raising them, he is just going to take them from me too.......I have no life, friends and he has everything........I gave up everything the last 8 years and now I feel so lost, afraid,lonely and heartbroken....I am at home crying my eyes out and where is he?..........oh, he took a long weekend to go to a nascar race with friends and I am sure the new gf.....he doesnt even care that he moved out.....he doesnt miss me.....he never loved me.......I was just something he was stuck with.........now I am stuck with him for the rest of my life........watching him moving on happily like life is just a big party............sorry to go on like this, I am just so miserable..........

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Okay I have some of those watery things running down my face. Not sure why except I wish my STBX would share with me or would have shared with me.
Thank you for sharing
Glad to see you write
""It's all very interesting and hopefully I'm at the point where I can value myself and my needs and let someone else be there for me as much as I am there for them.""
I hope I will learn to have better relationships.
Very big ((((((HUGS)))))))!
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