Bad dream, need a lift

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2006
Bad dream, need a lift
3
Sun, 11-12-2006 - 9:45am

Hi everyone,

Well, I had a dream about the day stbx told me he wanted a divorce. I think I have already told you all my story, but I need to again because I'm feeling really low right now.

His reason was that he didn't have any "sexual heat" with me anymore and he wanted that passionate, animal sex with someone!!!!! Can you believe that? Now, the mature part of me knows, of course, that that is just an excuse, blah, blah, blah and that you can't have that passion 365 days a year with the same person year after year, right? Life and reality sets in and you get comfortable, right? But the low part of me feels inadequate as a woman and sexual being. I mean, I'm now in the best shape of my life because of all this. I lost 20 lbs after I found out about his affair, and have been going to the gym to get toned. I bought a bunch of sexy underthings and have been thinking that I'm sexy. But he didn't want me and that makes me feel like crap. I don't want him now, but it still hurts my ego.

I just need to get that off my chest. Why am I having these dreams? Sigh...not a great way to start the day.

Shocked

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Sun, 11-12-2006 - 3:39pm
what a nasty dream... as if one didn't have enough reminders in real life!!!
The dream tell how much it meant to you - and how awful it makes you feel - do you have it often? maybe you can coach yourself to respond back in your dream, preparing it.. I've read somewhere that if you really prepare well your replies and polish your act, then you can automatically recall it while sleeping!!! that would leave you feel so much better!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sun, 11-12-2006 - 4:14pm

A bad dream can leave me off-kilter for at least a day! Can't stand 'em.

His whole, "sexual heat" excuse is ridiculous. If he was unhappy, he certainly could have made suggestions about how to jointly spice up sex. You're obviously looking and feeling good, and you should be proud of that. Chalk this up to a bad dream setting you off. Tomorrow night, try to dream about some sexy single guys...lol!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Sun, 11-12-2006 - 5:38pm

Shocked,


Congratulations on your decision to go to the gym! I did the same thing upon separation from my first husband. I was rewarded with a terrific sense of accomplishment as I lost weight and toned my muscles. It did wonders for my self-esteem.

CL-Wisdomtooth2020