Battle-wounded and war-weary
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Battle-wounded and war-weary
| Sun, 01-20-2008 - 7:11am |
Hello.
I'm new to this forum, but I'd like to ask a quick question to see if anyone else feels this way and if you can offer any advice.
I'm in my forties and alone at the moment. Looking back, I seem to have made a series of bad judgements with men. Each one has broken my heart, or bank balance, or both.
I don't want to be alone but with each failed relationship I get more nervous about starting a new one. With each man I think "he really knows me" but I end up disappointed and back to square one.
Does anyone else feel like this? Have you felt like this and found a way to beat it? Sometimes I think I am my own worse enemy.

matt
Sweet,
Hi. I'm glad you found us here at SD&S.
You know the saying, "If I only knew then what I know now?" Well, here we are! :-) Put that to good use at this point in your life and you'll make better choices.
For starters, divorce and/or separation can make us feel very rejected. That's because it is rejection! Yuck! No one wants to say, "I'm not loved or wanted." We work very hard to avoid being in that situation. Sometimes, we want to avoid rejection so badly we run headlong into the very next relationship because it hurts so much to be solo.
So here's my advice. Take this time to breathe and get to know yourself as an individual. Take this time to discover who YOU are. Who is Sweet? Is she quirky? Goofy? Smart? Silly? Adventurous? Friendly? Helpful?
Be that person.
CL-Wisdomtooth2020
Thank you so much for your considered reply - and I'm going to get a copy of that book too.
It is painful, but I promise I'm going to try what you've said and I'll be sure to let you know how I'm getting on!