Been final since May BS continues
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| Fri, 07-01-2005 - 7:42am |
I'm still getting crap from my ex regarding childcare issues. He thinks I should change jobs so that I am working a regular Mon-Fri schedule. I am a nurse and work 3 days a week 7 am - 7 pm. I work a rare weekend every 5 weeks. I can't afford to quit working at the hospital and I don't want to. It took a lot of hard work to finally get this type of nursing job where weekends and holiday work is rare and the money is great. I also have more time with the kids since I have 4 days a week off.
He's trying to say that he has the kids more which is total BS. He has them on the days that I work and even on those days the kids end up coming home at night after I get home. If I don't have to work the next day I pick them up so they don't have to get up in the morning when he leaves for work. My dd who is almost 13 hasn't been to stay at his place since before school got out June 17!
I pay the kids' health and dental insurance and he's supposed to pay half the medical bills which he hasn't and he's trying to say that if we go back to court they are going to side with him on child support. That's total BS! He also said that he would buy an insurance policy and then I'd have to start paying childcare. SOOOOOOOOO stupid since he's self employed and any policy he would buy would be 3x more than what I have through the hospital and wouldn't pay for anything! He'd be screwing himself over in an attempt to screw me over not to mention allowing his kids to have substandard healthcare coverage.
The only time I have kid free is every other weekend and even then I've got at least one at home. I picked them up from work last night and will have them till I go back to work on Tuesday. I offered to let him have them if he wanted on July 4th since it was a holiday and he got mad!!!! Fine by me, I don't want to be alone without them on the holiday.
He's being such an arrogant jerk. I called him and told him to let me know when he's ready to go back to court so tht I can bring my attorney. That shut him up real fast because he knows who my attorney is.

Yes I certainly am documenting when they are with me including my vacation week where I had them all but two days. I am also keeping receipts of all the stuff that I purchase for the kids such as food and clothes.
It's just scary to think that he might try to suck money out of me. It would be financially devastating to have to give that a$$hole money. Right now neither one of us pays child support because I figure that it doesn't do the kids any good to financially bankrupt the other parent. They are provided for the way things are. If I have to give him money on top of paying my half the childcare and insurances and their day to day needs I don't know what I'll do.
Well the latest now is that he wants to have them alternating weeks!!!!! There's no way I can do that because I can't take the youngest to daycare because it doesn't open till after I have to leave for work. Honest to God I think I should file for primary residency and get child support and pay my mothr to help out in the mornings when I leave for work. And I don't want alternating weeks because it's too long a time to go without seeing them.
His quote was "maybe we should have them alternating weeks and whomever has them that week has to fend for themselves with childcare issues" He's so busy trying to screw me ove4r that he doesn't even care that the kids might suffer because of it.
Just my opin...
L
I can appreciate why you don't want alternating weeks and why it wouldn't work in your case, although it is a really good option for some of us. If I were you, I would simply point out that if you had alternating weeks he'd still need to take them the days you worked on your week and you'd still get them on your days off on his weeks, so you really wouldn't ever be able to swing alternating weeks given your schedule (he could force you to get a babysitter but he can't force you to be with a babysitter when you are off work and want to have them). Then, like the previous poster just ask him to put it in writing and go through the proper legal channels. If your divorce and custody are final, it is very unlikely he could force a change you don't want. He'd first have to show the current situation is detrimental to the children, and then that the change would improve the situation for the children. That is hard to do without involving a GAL, child psychologists and a well bank rolled attorney.
The bigger problem is that he keeps pushing your buttons. You can't make him stop trying, but you can 'move' your buttons so when he comes up with some new idea just to get you riled up it has no affect on you, it will just hit you and bounce right off. It's not easy, it takes practice and patience but it can be done.
From what I know about it from this thread, it is very unlikely your children will suffer from this. He has no power to change the current custody arrangment as far as I can tell. The only power he has right now is to get to you and upset you and get you to fret and worry over what he can or might do to mess your life up. But it's all just talk from the sounds of it. He's really good at pushing your buttons because he's had a lot of practice doing it and he knows what works with you. If you can get to the point that you have changed how you react to him, he will be surprised and flustered that his tried and true tactics are no longer effective.