the beginning of the end

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
the beginning of the end
33
Thu, 06-19-2008 - 3:02pm

Kinda sounds like many of us are getting closer and closer to the finish line in these races toward sanity. I met with my STBX yesterday for about 4 hours with my suggestions for taking this back from the hands of particularily his lawyer who seems to think we have assets worth fighting over. I went through the deposition from hell 2 weeks ago which this lawyer dragged out for 3 1/2 hours grilling me over book purchases and so many irrelevant things that it was obvious he needed to raise his billing hours for the month-at $300 an hour his bill alone will be $1,500 to conclude that as a retired librarian I enjoy reading-Add to that my lawyer's fees and the court stenographer's and it was a total waste of money we don't have. My lawyer and I have suggested an arbitrator but STBX's lawyer wants this to go to a jury trial. Less billable time with arbitration???


The most amazing part of the 4 hours with STBX was hearing him express how badly I hurt his feelings while I was responding to the unrelentless badgering by his lawyer during the deposition! I hurt HIS feelings...Geez-this while the lawyer demanded that I BUTT out of my kids' lives-I did butt out and didn't remind either grown son of their dad's birthday or father's day (it's not like they don't know the dates) and STBX was hurt that they didn't contact him-


Anyway my suggestion was a 50/50 split of liquid assets (CD, stocks and bonds, 457K)-no alimony-with me receiving 60% of the profit from the sale of the house. Our home is 5 years old and has considerable equity built up.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
Tue, 06-24-2008 - 6:01pm
Hello iladyja, Are you divorced?? Was wondering because I to don't want the burden of our house I'm wanting him to take it. But I want to stay here until our daughter graduates next June. I'm filling out the Marital Settlement agreement now, and hopefully he wont contest anything, but people had advised me to get the divorce then refinance the house to get the equity, pay joint bills and split the rest. Is that the route your taking?? Ive been worried too because since hes been gone hes spending money like crazy, money he really doesn't have, hes bought a Harley and is financing it and a new truck! I'm afraid when it comes time to refinance the house he wont be able to afford it on his own, because of all the bills he will have,......UGH I really don't want to be stuck with this house!! IM actually looking forward to getting out of here next year, new life etc. Any ideas anyone?? I dont think we can sell it now it needs some work and the housing market is terrible now. Thanks ~ Mary~
Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-24-2008 - 6:42pm
No, my divorce isn't final yet.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 06-25-2008 - 12:14pm

You are right to be worried about his credit and refinancing.

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