The beginning of the end
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The beginning of the end
| Sat, 09-23-2006 - 2:17am |
My dh and I have been seperated since July. I left with the kids and moved back to my home state. Since then we have been in a kind of holding pattern. I flew out to SC at the end of July and packed a rental truck, and drove back out here(WA and have been here since. During that time we hardly spoke. I would call to talk, but he has shut himself down. I am the one that left, and according to him, I left him for someone else (not so much), but as I found out through a weird email fluke, he has started dating. Hello, 2 months anyone?? So, he was out here last weekend to see the kids, and in an effort to force a conversation, I drove him to the airport ( a little over an hour in traffic). What I have found out from that is that I'm a coniving you know what that only wants to take away his kids and gouge him for every cent he's got. When I packed up, I took the kid's things, my clothes, a few kitchen items and the big tv. He got the house, the furniture, all of that. To this date I have recieved no money from him, other than the meager withdrawls I've made from our joint account before I started working. (about $400 the entire month of August). I was a stay at home mom, and have been for most of our marriage, beyond that I've been picking up and moving every couple of years for his career, making it impossible for me to establish any kind of career, and he's worried about being taken advantage of? So, after his visit, I finally called a lawyer, and have an appointment soon. And I must say, I am ready.
One more new issue, when I left, I left being more than happy to be the heavy. I didn't care if I recieved blame for this, as long as I was able to get out. I talked to mutual friends of ours this past week and have been thrown for a loop! I found out that they are no longer speaking to him. Not because of me, but because of him. It seems without me there to be the buffer, others are seeing his true nature. They told me that they were pretty upset with me after I first left, but can now better understand why. Here's what is weird - this did not make me feel good, but made me feel worse. Like somehow I had caused him to loose these friends we've had since we were first married. I've gotten over those feelings now, but having them in the first place just shows how I'm still putting his feelings and problems before my own. Even more fodder to get this done and over with.
One more new issue, when I left, I left being more than happy to be the heavy. I didn't care if I recieved blame for this, as long as I was able to get out. I talked to mutual friends of ours this past week and have been thrown for a loop! I found out that they are no longer speaking to him. Not because of me, but because of him. It seems without me there to be the buffer, others are seeing his true nature. They told me that they were pretty upset with me after I first left, but can now better understand why. Here's what is weird - this did not make me feel good, but made me feel worse. Like somehow I had caused him to loose these friends we've had since we were first married. I've gotten over those feelings now, but having them in the first place just shows how I'm still putting his feelings and problems before my own. Even more fodder to get this done and over with.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Mother_Orca,
It is conditioning.
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***