Best time to leave after holidays??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2006
Best time to leave after holidays??
11
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 1:54pm
What do you all think is the best time to leave?? I am determined to leave after Christmas but not sure how to go about doing it. Should I tell him it's over and find a place or tell him to find a place or what?? ANY suggestions welcome

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2005
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 2:10pm

I guess since your AP's wife already left - maybe you should too. Don't know if there are kids involved. Let your H go and find the love he deserves... Why does he have to be the one that leaves?

You could do what my now ex-H did he left my 5 year old (oh excuse me he wasn't leaving his child - just me LOL) the week before Thanksgiving....




Edited 10/23/2006 4:45 pm ET by lifeisgrand2005
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2006
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 4:42pm
Wow you sound really bitter...I do not want the house. I want a divorce, however, he has family here and I do not. He has several places he could stay until I found a place. The love he deserves was exactly what I gave until he cheated with my sister 6 yrs ago. I am no longer mad or sad about it, I just want it to be over. Yes we have two kids, they will be living with me, as he is a truck driver with weird hours.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2006
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 10:45pm
Please do NOT leave until after the holidays are over for the sake of your children. My ex left 2 weeks before Christmas.... I begged him to come back and wait until after Christmas for the kids... he refused. To this day (4 years later) all three of my kids will tell you they HATE Christmas and the holidays and that their Dad ruined it for them forever. Why do that when you can be the adult and wait.... Only one reason I can think of... selfishness.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 1:03pm

I say... it's still early.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2006
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 6:50pm
Man, this board is a doozy. I don't in anyway want to leave before Christmas, I would never do that to my kids. So.....selfishness has nothing to do with it, timing, however does.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2006
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 6:51pm
Thanks so much cl_wildlucky4me--I hope and pray ours will go like yours!! Thanks again
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 9:01pm
Well, it did take a lot of being FIRM... biting my tongue a lot... and compromise, BUT.... 6 years down the road, it was worth every bit to keep the kids... and my sanity.... as the #1 priority.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 9:08pm

I think leaving before the holidays isn't such a bad idea. Last year my husband moved out and our divorce was announced to the kids two weeks before Christmas. Two weeks before is a bit on the close side, and I wouldn't recommend that, however this year they're fine. If you go in the next few weeks you have a chance to make the best of the holidays in an honest way.

If you choose to leave after, something you may want to consider is answering the questions your kids may have as to why you are leaving when you just spent all that time together as a "happy" family. They may wind up feeling lied to. I do know kids who felt their parents deceived them when they faked happiness through Christmas. I'm not saying this would be the best Christmas ever, but I don't think it's selfish to leave a month before Thanksgiving and two months before Christmas.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 9:25pm
Good point!

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 6:06am
I don't know what a good time to leave is - my husband walked out on us on September 17th of this year - never said bye or anything - we haven't received any money since and we have a 17 year old daughter and a 13 year old son. He is a truck driver and I think he is living with a woman somewhere (or so I have been told). He didn't even come back to get his clothes or anything - we just packed them up this weekend and put them in storage. It is all so sad - I'm having to file without a lawyer - and it is going to be filed by publication in the local paper because he can't be found. I think he has ruined not just the holidays but my children's entire year. There is no way that they can continue to live the same way we have been living. Of course it is good the house and everything is in my name. So I don't have to worry about anything - trying to get all of my beneficiaries changed at this time.

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