BIG BIG Problem

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
BIG BIG Problem
4
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 5:16pm
I don't know what to do. I have my plan to leave. He still has no clue. I found an apt, everythings all set...the day just has to arrive. (Next Thursday) My intention was to have some people help me get my stuff out while he's at work. But guess what? He calls me at work today and tells me he may have just lost his job. Now, I don't know if that was his way of telling me he did without actually telling me (he's not very good at keeping a job - one of the MANY reasons I'm leaving) or if there is a chance he still has a job. He's actually employed thru an agency, so maybe they will have another client who could use him right away. I hope, because WHAT AM I GOING TO DO IF HE'S NOT WORKING?!?!??!! I can't pack my stuff while he's home. He'd probably beat me up. Or something. He's crazy. I never know what to expect from him...it's not about me leaving..it's about me taking the kids. He could care less about me. All I know is that when I get home tonight, he better not tell me he's fired. I don't know what I'm gonna do. How am I going to get out without him finding out where I'm going? By doing it while he was at work, gave me time to go to my new place. It bought me time to think. Now I don't know. I'm so confused. I need a plan B. Has anyone ever left like this? Without him knowing? He's abusive, so it's my only option - there is no reasoning with him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 5:48pm
((hugs)) to you. I sure hope he didn't lose his job. But if he did, let's hope they gave him 2 weeks notice! Regardless, if you're that scared of him, I would leave asap, stay at a womans shelter if you have to until you can get into your apartment.
Good luck to you!
Amanda
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 6:27pm
First, take a deep breath. If he is home when you are ready to leave, call the police. I would do this ahead of time anyway. They will show up and give you like an hour to get your stuff out. Call and ask them. They will also be there to protect you and your kids. Is there any way you could move some stuff early? Like to a friends house. Like emergancy stuff. Just incase all heck breaks lose. Make sure you have Birth cert's ss#'s important doc. in a safe place. Like at a family members house. Just keep a level head. Do not tell him your new address until you talk to an attorney. The police may want you to get a restraining order. That is up to you. Personally they are not worth the paper they are written on JMO.
Just remember that anything material can be replaced. But you and your kids can not be. So if stuff has to be left, it can be replaced. Oh yeah get pictures you want.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 1:41pm
Well, everyone should be happy to know that THANK GOODNESS he didn't lose his job. He got a warning from the big boss, but he understood why there was a misunderstanding in the first place. Plus he said that too many people vouched for him saying what a hard worker he is. (This is news to me, cuz he's a lazy bastard at home - lol) So the plan is still in effect. I know that a restraining order is just a piece of paper, but I know it will get him locked up if he follows me or anything. He doesn't have anyone to bail him out, and his family changed their phone #'s, so I don't think they could help him either. So he'd just sit there. And you know what? He won't mind cuz he gets three meals a day. He told me once if he couldn't be around his kids he'd rather be in jail anyway. Whatever. I'm just sooooo relieved that he is still employed. It's a HUGE weight off my shoulders. Only 6 more days of his BS! Yippy!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2007
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 4:03pm

I'm glad to hear that he didn't wind up losing his job... keep us posted...


 


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