Big Blowup - they didnt go to the party!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Big Blowup - they didnt go to the party!
9
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 11:18am

I know I shouldnt be happy about this but I couldnt help it. First impressions really do make a difference and this gf of my ex's screwed herself royally.

Saturday - my ex and his little tart were supposed to take my son to a b-day party. He said he would pick him up at 3p.m. Well he called close to and said he would be late cuold he come at 4p.m I said fine. So at that time I thought I should let him know not to bring her up on my floor or even in my building ( I dont want her knowing my apt. #) under no circumstances at all. I didnt even want her knowing my address but since he has had her w/ him when dropping off the baby before that was too late to be avoided. He said he could respect that.

Then he calls me back again saying he wont be able to get there until like 5:30 - 6:00p.m. and now im pissed b/c he's screwing up my plans big time. We got into it a bit and he's like what direction are you going in, maybe you can bring him to me, I said you must be crazy. You wanted to pick him up so you need to get here ASAP so I can do what I need to do, he did apologize a few times. Finally at 6:30 he comes all in a rush, didnt even want me to kiss the baby goodbye, saying he's rushing. I told him you need to calm down stop rushing and make sure he's safe. He said sorry again and left.

About 10min later he calls me again, saying he cant handle this and he's gonna bring him back. I told him NO, I have plans. He told gf to wait for him at McDonalds ( which is a block in a half from my house) she got mad and left him! He didnt go to the party, just went home with the baby.

Can you imagine. He told me she got mad b/c she wanted to wait in my lobby. Mind you I bring my son downstairs to the lobby to make the exchange. She has no business in my bldg period. I dont want her knowing my apt #. What the heck is up with her. Did she think me and him would have a quick roll in the hay before he left or something. So now they arent speaking. Aw what a shame. What is this chick trying to prove?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 11:45am
Sounds to me like she's feeling pretty threatened. Funny how simple things can get so blown out of proportion.
-sang
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 12:20pm

Tell me about it. It just feels good to know that she's cathching some crap from him too. Since it always seems like he treats her like Gold. I guess she really does feel threatened. She also has another baby's mother to be "worried" about. She obviously doesnt trust him and w/o trust it wont last.

It's weird thought b/c i know im still kinda jealous although it makes no sense to be. But I kinda hope it doesnt work out and I know that's wrong on my part. Maybe it's b/c this is his 2nd relationship since we broke up and I havent had the first one yet. Either way I dont see it lasting. She really has no trust and I cant blame her either. If she only knew what had happened 3 months ago.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 12:29pm

wow, sounds like my situation. It took about a year or so to get it so she wasn't coming to my house, walking in the front door or standing on the porch during the dropping off or picking up of the kids.


I think it's their insecurity and curiousity. It sucks, it's like they use our ex's against us because that is the ONLY thing they have that we don't.


Oh well, chalk it up to being an experience and a realization... a realization that NO MATTER WHAT, YOU are better than she is....


Hugs,


Angelena

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 12:36pm
I can relate to that "yes, now you're getting yours" feeling when you hear that things aren't all rosy for a person who's hurt you. It's not a 100% good feeling, because you also feel at least a little petty and mean when you feel it, but I know a lot of people who've experienced it, so I think it is normal. For me, I know that as I've started to move on with my life, I don't feel it as strongly as I would have even a year ago. So maybe if I reach the point when I'm totally over it, I won't feel anything at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 12:54pm

gotcha.

I mean I can say I do understand her perspective but I'd never let her know it ofcourse. I do know that she doesnt "have him 100%" emotionally and she probably can feel it. When he dropped the baby off on Sunday he came in for a bit b/c the elevator was out and he had to carry him and stroller up 6 flights. When he was leaving, he ran his hand down my arm and just looked at me for a bit, sighed and said he needs to think about things. He called when he got home, we talked for a bit. He apologized saying he knows he doesnt always handle things the right way I said the same. He said he's just so stressed out w/ everything going on. We said goodbye. 1st time in a long time no arguing. Says he would call me today. Sure enough this morning, he called asking me about his resume. So she's in a helluva position b/c he's still confused and it's like he's pulled in at least two different directions.

But I have to be very careful. Because this is what happens with him. When there is no tension between us, he calls often to "talk" sometimes about nothing. And I cant handle that, not no where near strong enough for that yet. So he's confused.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 8:00pm
I have to laugh that they never made it to your party. Did you get to do what you wanted to do that night, was it something for yourself? You know, you are sounding so much stronger these days. I know it's not all up hill always, this is still going to be hard and there might be more setbacks. I would think it helps to see she has some insecurities, and their relationship isn't perfect. I can't imagine how anyone could have a perfect relationship with that man, just a few good moments here and there but they never last. He doesn't sound capable of making them last. If I was in your situation I wouldn't want her knowing my apartment number either. There is so much drama around in your ex's life, the less that can get to your door the better.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 9:14am
It wasnt a party of mine. It was for some girl he used to work with. I still thought it was funny. It's weird because i know how miserable I am when I see and talk to him but when I dont I cant help feeling that Ive lost something special. Like when I go for days with nc it's great. Then as soon as I see him I get that feeling again of having "lost something" It makes no sense and I having a hard time trying to shake that. Do you have any idea what that's about.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 9:25am
It's just out of sight out of mind. I think it's completely normal. You still have feelings for him, and it's easier to cope with those feelings, and put them out of your mind when he's not around. When you see him your feelings come flooding back. How can they not? He's the perfect reminder of what you've lost (even though you are probably better off without him in your life in the long run, that doesn't make it any less sad or hurt any less). I am sure that with time this will get easier. I don't know how much time though. You are handling it all very well, you are strong, you are going to make it through this. It won't always be so hard.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 9:42am
Thank you, you are wonderful. I made a decision and posted it a little while ago. Hugs to you.