Bills, Bills and More Bills
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Bills, Bills and More Bills
| Sun, 07-02-2006 - 10:27pm |
I am having a "moment" and just need to vent. I've lurked on this board off and on for over a year and appreciate having an opportunity to post.
Quick backgrounder - I left our home in September and have been living in an apartment with DD since then. HOWEVER - I am still paying all his living expenses (including mortage, utilities, student loan, etc.) I am leaving tomorrow for vacation/business trip and paid bills today in prep for being gone. I lost it. I have a good job and work my a** off. He has not worked for over a year and a half and recently announced that he is not going back to work until DD is in school (she's 2.5 now). I know that I shouldn't pay it but I don't want to risk the damage to my credit if we default on mortage, student loan, etc.
Any suggestions?
Quick backgrounder - I left our home in September and have been living in an apartment with DD since then. HOWEVER - I am still paying all his living expenses (including mortage, utilities, student loan, etc.) I am leaving tomorrow for vacation/business trip and paid bills today in prep for being gone. I lost it. I have a good job and work my a** off. He has not worked for over a year and a half and recently announced that he is not going back to work until DD is in school (she's 2.5 now). I know that I shouldn't pay it but I don't want to risk the damage to my credit if we default on mortage, student loan, etc.
Any suggestions?

Question for you...
Are the bills that you are paying for him, "all his living expenses (including mortage, utilities, student loan, etc.)" are in both of your names, his name or your name? Its not right that you are working your tail off and he's being a bum... Have you filed for divorce yet? Are there things in your name, such as utilites, that you could have turned off? After all, you're not living there anymore... Are there things in his name only that would not affect your credit, if you started to hold him responsible for paying his own bills (didn't work with my xh--he's still lacking in the responsibility area, but he is now my x and is no longer my problem)...
Make sure that if you have co-signed anything with him... mortgage, cars, etc, that those matters are clearly stated in your settlement agreement... my xh and I had bought a car together and he had 6 months to sell it/refinance so my name was off of it once the divorce was finalized and shocked the you know what out of me when he did it the week after the divorce was final...
I would also talk to your creditors... if you have co-signed, they will tell you that it is your responsibility too, but they could at least make some notes on the account so they are aware of what is going on and the upcoming changes...
Good luck!
Julie
The utilities are in my name. I did shut off the cable and the phone and refused to pay his cell bill. The problem with shutting of the power is that my daughter is there during the day. He has been home with her for over a year. The house is in both of our names.
The biggest issue with the house payment is that we are buying the house on contract from his Grandmother. The contract states that if we are late with a payment or miss a payment, the house goes back to her. I don't have any desire to have the house (it's a run down old farmhouse) but I don't want to lose the 4 years worth of equity that we've built into it either. So, according to my lawyer - if we miss a payment, the house goes back to his Grandma and then he and she can re-negotiate the terms of the contract. He could basically buy the house for $1 or pay rent or whatever they work out. That makes me the big loser. But by the time I pay a year's worth of house payments - I lose anyway.
Thanks for your advice!!
Happy 4th of July!
Hummmm..... how much sanity would you GAIN by letting him have that house and just walking away and moving on?
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~