Boo hoo!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Boo hoo!
7
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 1:28pm

I'm trying not to get angry or to cry right now. My attorney (a friend/aquaintence of mine) called several weeks ago to ask me if I could go to court on 12/16 to finally get divorced. I was thrilled to take the date and have had my heart set on it every since. Well since then I've had some strange behavior from stbx and I've left her a few messages asking her how to deal with it. While I've left those messages, I've also asked what time I'm in court on the 16th because if it's late in the day I need to set up a sitter for the kids. No response. Finally on Monday I called her office again and got her secretary directly who was very surprised that I didn't have a court time yet. She said she'd call Julie and ask her what time and call me right back. Never heard from her. Now I'm getting mad and trying not to because she's doing this for free, but honestly I just want it DONE. I'm getting very close to the one year mark of when we decided to split and she told me from the beginning it would be a matter of weeks. So today - and keep in mind that I'm supposed to be going to court TOMORROW - I called her office and she's in court and I talk to her secretary again. She is shocked that I still don't know what time. She has me hold while she calls Julie. Apparently she couldn't get me in on Friday 12/16. She's going to set up another date/time and get back to me. Things are going to get sticky from here though. My kids leave town on 12/20 and then I leave on the 21st to return on the 27 and the kids return on the 28th. As much as I want to be divorced, I still will want some time with my kids when they get back from their dad's, so I dont' want to have someone watch them while I spend a morning/day in court. I'm going to have to wait until they go back to school which is going to be in 2006. I don't want this to mess my taxes up and I really hoped I would have this done before the next year. There is a tiny time slot that I can do on the 28th because the kids don't fly in until 7:30pm. If she can get me in early I can get this over with and get the kids in the evening. I'm sorry I'm venting I just can't believe the way this is going!

Melanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
In reply to: eatatmoms
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 9:04pm

(((((((((HUGE HUGS))))))))))))))))))


Waiting sucks, and being on the bottom of the priority list is no fun.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
In reply to: eatatmoms
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 6:14am

Unfortunately you get what you pay for.

It would definitely be nice to have it done before the end of the year, but I wouldn't count on it. Try not to let this get you down. Just enjoy the holidays and handle it when you can.

My divorce we went to a mediator, started negotiations in the month of August and were at court by December and our divorce was final a month later in January and Absolute by April. So it can be done quickly but honestly I don't think you are a priority to this lawyer, mainly because she's just doing it as a favor for a friend, her paying clients get first priority. But I can see how it can be extremely frustrating at your end of things.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: eatatmoms
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 8:54am

I agree! The most frustrating part of it is that while I may very well have hired her anyway, she never asked who I was going to use as my attorney. Soon after I decided to divorce stbx she and another friend of mine and I bumped into each other at a party our daughters were going to and she said, "I'm going to handle it for you and you won't be paying.". I told her I didn't think she could do that, but she insisted. She's really sweet and fun, but I wish I were a priority. I've even asked her if there is anything I could do from my end to make things go more quickly and she said no. I filled out the paperwork nearly a year ago and we wrote up the final papers in July! This is getting ridculous.

Melanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2005
In reply to: eatatmoms
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 11:46am
I know just how you feel and it is very frustrating and just makes you feel helpless or at least it does me anyway. I got the name of my attorney from a friend whose husband had used him in his divorce so I called and set up an consultation with him and that was the last time that I have even met with him except for going in to pay him his $950.00 up front and that was back in June. I call and leave messages and they go unanswered.There have been papers for me to fill out that they were supose to get to me that needed filled out by a certain date that they forgot to give to me and so they had to file an extension which only drags things out further and that is just the crap I have put up with my attorney not to mention my husband and his attorney. My husband decided that he wanted a divorce and moved out back in april but said that he couldnt afford an attorney. Whatever but anyway as usual that left me to take care of that also so I got my attorney and filed for divorce in July and it took a month for them to even serve him the papers. Of course he waited till the last day he could to get an attorney and then they filed for an extension.We were finally supose to have a pre trial conference in october whatever that is since it still hasnt happened because my stbx attorney fired the judge because he didnt like him and never let my attorney or I know that he did that so I had taken the day off from work. Like you said now its the end of the year and I have no idea how to go about filing a tax return and if there is a refund how to divide it.He took last years and moved out and left me stuck to pay the property taxes which was what that money was supose to be used for so I think I should get any refund this year and was going to have that in the divorce papers but of course im not even going to be divorced by then.Im sorry to go on like this but it is just so frustrating that I am left paying all the bills and stbx acts like he doesnt have a care in the world and I have paid an attorney that is supose to be fighting for me and he is doing nothing.Im not saying that all attorneys are bad but I can understand now why I always hear people bad mouthing them.I also think what is hurting me is that we live in a smaller town and our attorneys dont like each other so something that was supose to be quick and easy has turned into a fight between them and my dd and I are the ones to suffer. I just want this over so that I can figure out where I stand financially and I wont have to beg my stbx for money when needed for extra expenses when needed which seems to be happening more and more since he moved out.How does that always work that way? I guess that is a whole other topic for the board.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: eatatmoms
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 10:39pm
Any updates Melanie???????


Karen ~ wildlucky4me


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

Avatar for eatatmoms
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: eatatmoms
Sat, 12-17-2005 - 12:01pm

I still have not heard from her. Sigh... I actually had a crummy day yesterday, just moped around the house not feeling like doing anything. It wasn't until later that night that I figured out why I felt that way. I'm not someone who usually gets depressed and I guess I'm unfamiliar with the feeling. So I went to bed early with the kids and slept in and now we're listening to Christmas music, baking and making candy. I'm feeling much better. Hopefully I'll have an official court date soon.

Mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: eatatmoms
Sat, 12-17-2005 - 7:34pm

I hope so!


I'm glad that you had fun making cookies and candy.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~