Borken Hearted...where do you turn?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Borken Hearted...where do you turn?
4
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 9:05am
So where do you turn when you find out that your partner of five years, who you have a 2 year old with, is having an affair? He lied, cheated, snuck around, stole over and over and over again. Now we are going through the court system to set up visitation and he brought his girlfriend with him - who by the way is now living in your house, with ALL of your furniture, dishes, silverware, bed, cats EVERYTHING. Shes 21, russian, FAT and (I cant really say the rest that I want to because Im a mommy and trying to curb my anger).
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 10:12pm

Hi there... you say you are going throughh the court to set up visitation, etc... do you have an attorney?


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 8:37am
Thanks so much, I do have an atty. Hes just playing games at this point. Hes the kind of peson that really gets off on being cruel and humiliating me. He loves to feel superior and I think thats why hes with this "girl". Shes submissive, young, doesnt work (neither does he). I just dont understand knowing all the bad about him and as much as he disgusts me, why it hurts as much as it does. Its just crippling at times. I know a day will come and Ill look back and say "Whew - never thought Id get through that" but until it comes it really just sucks! He called yesterday morning and asked if he could see our daughter and I said no. We have to wait for court now, I tried to set it up last week but you were unwilling to compromise so now its up to the court system and i hung up. Its just part of his game to say he asked me and i said no. Im fully aware of his games, thats why I have lawyer and he does not. Im going to have the lawyer handle it because im to close to the situation and wont represent myself well enough, and I figure the lawyer will get him rattled enough he'll fly off the handle and show his ture colors...it just sucks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 5:22pm

Hi , I am sorry for everything that you are going through.. Hugs to you.


This guy really is not worthy of any minute in oyur life. You need to get a lawyer and get yourself protected. Do not let him see your daughter unless it is ordered through the court. As much as irresposible he is, and living with some woman who you cant trust.. you cant leave your kid to meet them or spend time with them.


Also I wanted to suggest the board "single mothers and dating" for you. You will get some good advice on related topics and how to deal with protecting your kid and yourself.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 1:49pm
Thank you so much for all the support! I met with my lawyer today and i feel really optimistic about next week. Im not making irrational demands just demands for my daughters safety. He really put it all in perspective for me and validated my concerns and told me im not "crazy" im hurt and have been lied to repeatedly. He also told me that all of his excuses for not working like the rest of the population will have to be explained in detail to the judge and the judge will not put up with any crap. Sort of gave me a warm fuzzy feeling that he will be held accountable to some degree for his actions. So we shall see...