Breaking Commitment to God...
Find a Conversation
Breaking Commitment to God...
| Wed, 05-23-2007 - 3:03pm |
Does anyone have a problem breaking their commitment to God? I think I care more about that than hurting my husband and family. Any other Christians struggling with this?

Pages
Doreen
I don't think God ever required us to stay. We did. My stbx also broke that committment long ago. His mistresses were alcohol and porn. Yet I stayed thinking that's what God wanted me to do. I don't think God ever intended for me to live as I have for most of our 28 years together (there was a few years where stbx found God that were pretty good but then his old addictions came back and he decided he'd had enough church to last a lifetime).
For the past several years, my motiviation has been my children and not wanting to put them through a divorce. I find myself dealing with a lot of anger towards stbx because of all the crap I've put up with for their sakes and he goes and leaves because *I* am making HIM miserable???? You've got to be kidding me.
I think many of us older women were just raised to believe that it's our responsibility to keep the marriage together and WE decided that's what God wanted. I don't think God ever required us to do what we've done. I think it had more to do with our own pride and not wanting it to look like WE'D broken our vows. God knows what went on in our households.
While God knows I stopped trying a few years back and that probably was the end of our marriage right there, he also knows that I could not win. The only person who can help the addict is the addict and until they want to change, nothing changes. Too bad it took me this long to realize that I'm powerless in this situation. I should have moved on years ago and I think God would have approved.
Well if you look at the story you refer to, Pharaohs heart was hardened and because Pharaoh was already a man of wicked intent, he served the perfect purpose and in the end it caused him is life.
Peace,
Di
***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***
Doncha just love fundamentalists? The answers are always so black and white. If only life were that simple.
I struggled with religion for a long time after leaving a fundamentalist faith. Still do but it's getting better. I'm, slowly, working my way back now that stbx is out of the house. It helps that his leaving actually answers so many of my prayers. He's not drinking, for the time being, he's actually trying to be a dad, for the time being and since he's left, I've been able to get off of my anti anxiety meds. I just don't need them anymore without his chit to put up with.
Hopefully, you'll see some answered prayers in your leaving. What are the positives? Do you think those are things God wants you to have?
While I believe God answers prayers, sometimes he answers our prayers for someone else to care about us by getting the person who doesn't care about us out of our lives. He can only prod men. He can't make them follow. Sounds like our stbx's don't prod well.
Mine has no use for God. Says he had enough church as a child for a lifetime. He says that religion has never done anything for him (we all know it's all about what is done for him, ugh). Not much for God to work with there.
Sounds like yours is too arrogant for God to work with him. He sounds like he needs to be brought to his knees but controlling people don't change. They are always controlling just like my self centered ex will always be self centered.
I'm going to try out a divorce support group in a church about 15 miles from where I live that is supposed to be really good. I'll let you know how it goes. I think you can find support for divorce in religion. Just not fundie religions.
"It will just be very hard for me to talk about my experiences, having kept silent for so long."
I understand completely. Prior to stbx announcing he was leaving, I rarely used the word alcoholic. And then it was usually someone else saying he was one. The only way you can live with things is to not accept them for what they are. When he left and I was faced with handing the girls over or fighting, suddenly, all the ugly had to come out. All the things I've hidden from the world for so many years. Unfortunately, it looks like retaliation for him having left but it's not. I was only staying for my kids and I was not going to hand them over to someone who drinks to excess on a daily basis.
Pages