Breaking Commitment to God...
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Breaking Commitment to God...
| Wed, 05-23-2007 - 3:03pm |
Does anyone have a problem breaking their commitment to God? I think I care more about that than hurting my husband and family. Any other Christians struggling with this?

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It is but it has to be done. You can't fight something you hide from. I'm just glad no one gave me a lie detector test right when I filed. I had been hiding our dirty little secret so long it felt like I was lying to finally bring it to light. Fortunately, we have a professional alcohol assessment that says what I've always known and denied. He's an alcoholic.
Funny, he listed himself as a social drinking, having maybe one or two, on his Match.com site. I got quite a chuckle out of his descriptions of himself. Makes me wonder how much of what is posted there is honest. His sure isn't. I guess the name of the game is lying when you're looking, lol. I can't do that so I guess I'll stay off the sites. I'll stick with singles groups for a while where I can meet people and size them up for myself thank you.
I also agree with another poster who said she should've left years ago, but stayed so as to not break my vows. I was raised Catholic, truly believe, still, in "til death do us part". I am very active in my parish, with my ds starting 1st grade at our parish school this fall. I will pursue an annulment, when my divorce is final, so that maybe, if I ever find someone to trust enough again, I will be able to start fresh. My parish doesn't have a group for divorced people, but some do. You didn't mention your denomination, but I believe that if you could find a group that you are comfortable with, it may help you to be around others in your same boat.
aspen
i am not sure if i posted this previously, however, when i decided to d my husband, i went to see my priest. (i am roman catholic, not a very good one) i needed to cover all my bases with my decision.
i was surprised at his support for me to leave my marriage. he told me that god forgives, and understands. in my situation, stbx is an alcoholic unable to provide, he told me to stay my course and do what is right for my children.
after all, when i married my stbx one of the vows was to "accept children willingly from god" and basically provide for them. stbx couldn't help, so i will do it alone.
god is forgiving. he understands the struggles and he understands our path in life. a minister, (or pastor, priest) is a mere mortal. he has no right to judge. (this is why i do not believe in confession.) just look at what some of these guys do, child molestation, stealing from their church, having affairs of their own. we are all equal in gods eye.
just my 2 cents.
what
Please don't feel sorry for me. I have reached a point where all of this is good. I believe that everything happens for a reason and God has provided me with so much since my stbx left. I was lost for a while, but now I know what I am supposed to do. Its not easy and I'm not going to be the wealthy mortgage banker I once was, but who cares? I have my piece of mind, my time with my child and no longer have the loser that chose a trailer park ho over his family.
I feel for you in that you cannot compete with inanimate objects. You should really talk to this man you married and if there is no love, and there is no hope, then maybe you should leave. I'm not telling you to go, I' telling you to talk to your DH and tell him what you need.
Whatabadidea is right, God forgives. You don't need your pastor or priest or whomever is the head of your church, you need to get right with yourself and and if necessary, kick this butthead to the curb and make a life for yourself and your child.
I'll step down from my soap box now and tell you that I love your name and send you a humongous (((((((hug))))))
Lisa
(((((((((lisa))))))))))))
hugs to you too.
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The trick is not to make the same mistake twice and that means finding yourself first. I don't remember where I read it but I read, somewhere, that you should not date for a year after coming out of a bad relationship or you risk picking up on the same kind of guy.
Just for grins and giggles, I went through some postings on Match.com. I found one I liked and then noticed he had put down daily drinking. I took a second look at the picture an realized he had the same grayish palor, in the picture, that my stbx had often after drinking too much. I don't think I'll be using the matching services for a while, thank you.
When I do, I'm going with eharmony. I know someone who met her dh through them. They both swear by the service. I did take their personality profile and it is right on. THey even picked up that others see me as cold because I believe in helping people work through their problems instead of just helping them. One of my issues with stbx is I don't put on rose colored glasses when it comes to my kids. I've had some cruel things said to me because I refuse to do so. It's as if mom's are expected to overlook their children's faults. One, like me, who sees them and tries to address them is suspect.
I also like their service because they refused to match me because I'm not yet divorced. Which is fine. I just wanted the personality profile and was curious. Other services seem to take anyone.
As to lying spouses. I don't think they lie. I think the're delusional. My stbx INSISTS that when mediation opens our marriage counseling records it's going to show me to be evil. I went back to our old marriage counselor because I just don't remember discussing all this stuff stbx says we did. Neither does the counselor. He, jokingly, asked me if stbx attended the same counseling sessions he and I did. However, stbx BELIEVES that all this stuff is there that isn't. That scares me WRT custody. I'm not sure he's fit to have the kids at all but I have no proof of anything being mentally wrong with him.
Edited 6/3/2007 7:52 am ET by gr8fulmom1
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